Free As A Byrd

17: Desperate

It seemed to take an eternity for him to reach me, our eyes interlocked and my breathing fast and irregular. When he finally closed the distance, he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me swiftly a few doors down, into his quarters.

"Are you alright?" He said urgently, looking me up and down.

I nodded, still in a state of panic.

"Lord, you looked so panicked, I- I thought something had happened, I thought you.." he trailed off and rubbed his face, pushed his hair back from his eyes and put his hands on the table, leaning over it and trying to calm his breathing.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I-"

"You have nothing to apologize for, I overreacted, I shouldn't have chased you like that."

"No, you were right to, I mean nothing happened, but I'm not okay, I.. I just don't know how much longer I can do this."

He didn't reply, so I sat across from where he stood. He tossed me a cigarette. "I got some to keep here.. in case you needed one. After stressful Occlumency lessons.."

I nodded, reaching through the slit in my dress to fetch my wand to light it. I looked up as I placed the cigarette in my mouth, seeing his eyes hover over my now exposed thigh. He met my eyes and looked away quickly, moving to lean against the wall with his arms crossed, distancing himself. I discarded my wand and cigarette on the table, no longer interested in it.

"What happened?" He pushed, still urgent.

"I don't know.. Fred came to tell me he knew about me, he was being kind, but I just can't handle looking at him knowing he knows, it makes it real," I began to ramble, grateful for the ability to let my emotions out. "It's already looming above my head and I already see the pity in your face when you look at me, I-"

He seemed angered at this. "I do not look at you with pity," he said coldly. "I am utterly furious! Do you know how badly I wish I could simply storm into one of my meetings with the Dark Lord and slaughter him myself?" He was the one ranting now, spilling everything out that had been bottled up, although it was nothing I could have expected him to say. "When I see his disgusting face all I can think about is the things he intends to do to you, the way he plans to touch you and torment you, it drives me completely fucking mad!"

"What- I- Severus. Where is this coming from?" I sputtered, in shock.

"Oh Godric, Florence, are you completely blind!?" He was shouting and waving his hands around. He ran his hands through his hair and removed his cloak, tossing it to the table.. I stared at him, mouth agape. "The thought of someone hurting you, someone taking advantage of you, touching you.. I can't bare it! I have been fighting to protect Potter since the day that Lily died, but when you showed up, lost and pleading for me to let you go, and then at my door that day, and helping me to bed after my torture, after I was so cold to you. When I saw into your mind, all that you have endured and how strong you are despite it.." he was quieter now, and looked up to meet my eyes. "I'm not fighting for Potter, or Lily, anymore. I'm fighting for you, and you do not have to be strong anymore."

Before I could stop myself I was standing, my feet were carrying me to him. He reached for me, and finally we were touching, one hand on my hip and the other in my hair, while my hands were on his chest. He twirled us, so I was the one against the wall, and he leaned down to touch his forehead to mine.

"I'm in love with you, you senseless, blind girl." He breathed, and then crashed his lips to mine.

I let out a moan immediately as the pent up desire and emotion was released in our kiss. We were frantic, passionate, as our lips and tongues moved in synchronicity, his hands gliding across my body, tracing every curve of me. I moaned again as he bit my lip, suckong on it for a moment before moving down to my neck, my collarbone, and I fervently went to work unbuttoning his shirt. I pulled it off of him hurriedly, and pulled back to admire him, running my hands down his torso and smiling up at him. He groaned, turning me around so my front was against the wall and began to undo the back of my dress. He sucked in a breath when it fell to the ground, revealing me in nothing but my underwear.