Fractured from the Fall

The Pain of Pleasure

"Yep."

"Ford, it's...it's beautiful. I've never seen anything like this before. I didn't even know this existed in Oakley."

He smiled.

"Well, get used to it. This is where our kid is going to hang out with grandpa and grandma while you're at work?"

"What?" Lily's mood shifted.

"Or college. Whatever you want to do. I mean you'll probably have to do both."

Lily's face dropped, but Ford's eyes were on he road and her reaction went unnoticed.

"I mean I'll be doing that too, work, that is, not college. I'll have to work full-time to support the kid."

He'd already thought it all out. He was going to give up the opportunity to go to college in order to raise their child. To be honest, she didn't even know if he wanted to go to college. Come to think of it, she didn't even know if he'd applied or gotten in anywhere. They'd never talked about that kind of stuff. But Lily wanted to go to college, or at least she wanted the opportunity to decide. But how could she possibly juggle school and work while being up all night with a baby. It seemed like an impossible task. Panic filled her body and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Ford must have sensed that something was wrong because he reached across the bench seat and squeezed her hand.

"Hey, hey," he said trying to pull her out of the images of the nightmarish future that was flashing before her eyes. "We'll make it work. We'll be together, as a family. That's all that matters."

Lily returned his squeeze and managed to smile, but she didn't say a word. She was fighting back tears and didn't want to lose it right before she met his parents. Then they would definitely know something was up.

Ford's parents were standing on the stoop with smiles almost as big as his own. It was like something out of a 1950's tv show, the kind her dad used to fall asleep to on the couch when she was growing up after he'd had one too many beers. His parents greeted Lily politely and led her into the house. She figured they must not think much of her. She was Ford's best friend's ex girlfriend. She wondered how much Ford had told them about what had happened between the three of them.

The foyer was enormous with a huge vaulted ceiling. Lily was pretty sure her entire house could fit inside of just the entryway. She began to feel nervous. She had no idea what she had gotten herself into when she agreed to this. She had tried to say no, but Ford was...well...let's just say he had a way of being veeeeerrrry convincing when he was shirtless and unbuttoning his pants. 

Ford grabbed Lily's hand and led her into the kitchen. His mother made small talk with the two of them over appetizers while his father finished cooking dinner. Lily was in awe that his dad actually cooked. She tried to imagine what it must have been like for Ford growing up in this home with a family so different than her own. She was jealous for just a moment. Maybe she wouldn't have wound up knocked up if she had had a mother to steer her in the right direction.

"So Lily, do you have any plans for after graduation?" Ford's mother asked towards the end of the dinner. For the better part of the meal Lily had been pushing the food around on her plate, lost in her thoughts. She didn't have much of an appetite lately. Everything made her sick, but she didn't want his parents to suspect anything or think she had some sort of eating disorder so she reluctantly took a bite. Big mistake.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then stopped herself, both because bile was rising in her throat and because she no longer knew how to answer that question. If someone had asked her about her future a week ago she would have responded with: travel, see the world, move someplace new, meet new people. But now it looked more like: change dirty diapers, lose sleep, shower occasionally. Ford seemed to sense her uncomfortableness and jumped in.