Fractured from the Fall

Crazy Reckless Love

"Wasn't sure if you'd show?" Ford said from his usual spot, sitting atop of the Peter Pan rock. The last time Lily had met him here was before Grant's accident. It was weird to be back now. So much had changed, for better and worse.

"Yes you were," Lily replied smiling.

Ford's dimples popped and Lily's heart fluttered.

"Well I was hoping."

"So I take it this means you didn't get in trouble?"

"Nah, even if Coach busted me he'd let me off easily. He knows I've been going through a lot with..."

Ford stopped speaking and his eyes left Lily's. He ran his hands through his hair and his leg twitched nervously. Lily was reminded of the guilt he felt over messing up the play.

She walked towards him and dropped her bag at his feet. She could see the pain in his eyes. She could even feel it. It wasn't the same, but it was similar to the pain she felt. She wanted to make it go away.

She brushed his hair behind his ear and bent down to kiss him. He responded like he always did, hot and heavy. It was never tame, never boring, between the two of them. Sometimes when she kissed Grant it felt like she was kissing a relative: a small peck on the mouth with no feeling behind it. But with Ford, with Ford, his lips on hers was a full body experience: everything tingled. She felt hot, lightheaded, weak in the knees. If she didn't know better she'd think she had the flu. And in a way she was sick: sick and twisted. When it came to Ford, her head was permanently in the gutter, thinking of all the R-rated things she wanted him to do to her.

He stopped and looked at her with a fierce desire burning in his eyes. His hands ran up her thighs and under her skirt. He hooked his hands around her underwear and started to pull them down, but Lily threw her hands to her sides, stopping him.

"Ford, we can't?" she insisted, even though she had come to their meeting spot knowing full well that it would lead to this, even hoping that it would lead to this.

"What if we get caught?" Lily whispered.

"Like I said before, you're worth it."

He brought his lips to Lily's thigh and laid soft wet kisses on it. It put Lily over the edge. Any small shred of willpower she had left, was gone.

Ford continued kissing her, his lips making their way up Lily's thigh. His head was fully under her skirt now. Lily's entire body relaxed and she released her hands, allowing Ford to pull her panties down her legs. She stepped out of them as Ford leaned back, unbuckling his pants and pulling them down.

He pulled Lily towards him and she straddled his lap. He helped guide her as she lowered herself on top of him. He entered her slowly. It was sort of painful, but in the best of ways. She loved the way he felt inside of her and she loved the way he looked at her like there was no one else in the world who could make him feel this way. His hands were on her hips assisting her as she rocked gently back and forth. Lily couldn't believe she was doing this right now, at school, with the risk of getting caught. This was crazy and reckless. Why did being reckless have to feel so good?

The flip side, of course, was the guilt, which would come later, and which felt horrible. After that night in the barn, there was an unspoken consensus between the two of them that Lily couldn't break up with Grant right now, but despite that, Ford and Lily could no longer be without one another. They would make it work, however they could, for the time being. They would hide their love in order to be there for Grant, as messed up as that sounded. And they would figure the rest out when the time was right. They would live in the pleasure of the moment, because the pain of the future was too much to bear. There was no denying that the guilt of being intimate with Ford behind Grant's back was bad, but the pleasure of having him inside of her, and knowing that he loved her in the same crazy, reckless, insane way that she loved him, made it all worth it.