Saving Steve (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter 34 - Scared

Stepping into the large boxers that go down to mid-thigh, you toss the sweatpants over your shoulder, feeling a little too warm to put them on just now. Eager to get back to Steve, you head back to the office. But the moment you open the door, you realize that you've left Steve alone for too long. 

"Steve?"

You shut the door behind you softly and looking over to Steve, who hasn't moved from the couch. Despite the unopened sandwich in his own hand, he's not eating. And the stressed creases in his forehead are back. He doesn't acknowledge your present, and seems lost. Stranded deep in thought.

"Steve, you okay?" you ask quietly, walking back to the sofa and setting down your things as you take a seat next to him.

"You can't trust him, Y/n," Steve says, his tone much darker than it had been when you left the room. Clearly Steve has spent the last twenty or thirty minutes stewing. Thinking. 

"What? Who?" you ask, placing your hand lightly on his arm.

"Casey. You can't...you can't trust him. You're starting to trust him."

You cringe at the accusatory tone in Steve's voice.

"Steve, I-,"

"We need to move," Steve says with a huff, standing from the couch, his fists clenched.

"Move?" you ask, wiping away a few drops of water that still trickle down your cheek from your wet hair. "You mean leave? Leave the theatre?" 

Steve nods, looking back at you. 

"Why?" you ask.

"Why?" Steve asks, brow creased and disappointment tugging on the corners of his mouth. "That piker was here, Y/n. Right here. And I didn't know!"

"But he was-"

"It doesn't matter, Y/n!" Steve says, raising his voice slightly as he stands angrily from the sofa. "You were alone. He got to you and you were completely alone. Do you realize what he could have done?! He could have taken you somewhere! He could have killed you!"

Steve's shoulders heave as he tries to control his fear. His fear that looks a lot like anger.

"It won't happen again," Steve scowls quietly. "You're not leaving my sight," he says, pointing a finger at you. "And we're all leaving. Now. Right now."

Steve starts marching towards the door.

"Where are you going?" you ask, frustrated at Steve's impulsivity.

"To wake up Buck."

"You're overreacting," you say firmly, still seated on the sofa. 

"And you're underreacting!" Steve says, stopping in his tracks and turning to face you.

"I'm being rational!" you plead

"YOU'RE BEING STUPID!" he shouts back, causing you to flinch.

You stare at Steve in shock, taking in his widened eyes and clenched fists. "Steve, you're scaring me," you say tenuously.

"Good! You should be scared!" Steve shouts. "I'm scared!"

The moment the words leave his lips, Steve's angry stance falters as he lets out a sharp exhale and his blue eyes find yours. He staggers slightly, reaching out and grabbing the door as he leans against it, closing his eyes.

You tighten your lips, waiting in silence as Steve catches his breathe. You can tell he's fighting off what could turn into a full on panic attack, so you give him the time and space he needs to clear his head for a moment. 

After a few quiet minutes, Steve finally looks back at you, his blue gaze mournful and full of regret.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I didn't mean to yell. I'm just...I'm scared, Y/n. I'm scared that if he got to you once, he can do it again."

You feel an icy pang of despair shoot through your chest as you watch Captain America show such uncensored vulnerability. Knowing what Steve needs, you stand silently from the sofa to stand before him, holding out a single hand. He takes it and allows you to pull him back to the couch. You push gently on his shoulders to get him to sit. But you remain standing, staying tall as you stand before him.

"Steve Rogers," you say softly, yet with a fierce seriousness. "I'm okay. He didn't hurt me. And it's not your fault you weren't here when he showed up. He's an agent. A spy. That's what he does."

Steve whimpers softly and lets his head fall defeatedly into his hands. You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder.

"And I can't believe I'm saying this," you continue. "But Captain...you need to step back and see the bigger picture here."

Steve looks up from his hands and stares at you as you speak.

"Casey has helped us twice now. I don't know why. But clearly he isn't on Ross's team. Which means he might as well be on ours," you assert. 

Steve lets out a begrudging sigh and reaches for your waist. You let him guide you down onto the couch, straddling his lap as you sink down into his arms and let your head rest on his shoulder - no doubt leaving a big wet stain behind. But Steve doesn't seem to mind as he leans his cheek on your head, breathing in deeply and holding you tight.

"And I think you need to eat," you tease, sitting up and rolling from his lap, reaching for the sandwich he tossed aside. "You're not you when you're hungry," you smirk.

Steve takes the sandwich from your hands, and you crawl back to the other side to pickup your own half that you had abandoned for your shower. But before you can take a bite you notice that Steve has already once more tossed the sandwich inside, and is rummaging around the bag from the bodega. After a second, he pulls out a plastic sack of candied orange slices, popping one into his mouth.

You grin, realizing that those must have been the source of that sweet orange taste on Steve's lips. You have missed it.

Steve notices you watching, and arches one brow as he holds out the bag to you.

"Do you want one?" he asks. "My mom used to bring these home from the hospital sometimes. They kept 'em around for the kids," he mumbles, licking his lips to clear away the last of the crystallized sugar that clings to them.

Your gaze flits from the bag to Steve once more and you reach over, taking the entire bag out of his hand. He looks at you curiously as you set it aside and crawl back over to his lap.

"I think they taste better on you," you whisper, taking Steve by surprise as you catch his lips with yours in a gentle, loving kiss. 

You feel Steve inhale sharply, a small smile on his lips as he kisses you back eagerly. His tongue slides gently across your bottom lip and you deepen the kiss, letting his tongue find yours as you melt into his arms. You've missed this sweet taste.

As you begin growing breathless and slightly dizzy, you pull away and snuggle into his side. Steve kisses the top of your head and takes your hand, pulling it over to his lap and setting it gently on his thigh as he turns it over to face palm up. He gently opens your fingers and lets his own trace yours - his touch featherlight.

Together, the two of you sit in comfortable silence as the room grows lighter, weak rays of early dawn light slipping in through the blocked window. Feeling him completely and totally relaxed beside you, you take a chance and as him the question on your mind.

"We can stay, right?" 

Steve sighs. "Yeah. We can stay." 

You smile and snuggle into Steve. 

"For now."