Something Old

Chapter 17 (Really really the finale)

We went to the kitchen and Sam made tea, we sat around the table, Dean had his hand on my knee the entire time. "What do you remember?" "Sam!!" "What? Sorry I just.." "Babe it's ok." "You don't have to talk about it." "I'm fine. The last thing I remember is feeling a crazy pain in my back, then seeing those beautiful greens eyes again." I looked at him and touched his face, "After seeing Deans eyes I remember a feeling of calm. If that make sense. Then the next thing I was standing behind the bunker. I came in and you guys weren't here so I took a shower and waited." "Wow, that's incredible." "Really?" "I mean not that you died but that..." "I get it, can we catch up tomorrow I really could use some time with Dean." "Yeah sure, I'll grab my head phones." He laughs, "Sam!" We get up and Sam hugs me, "I'm really happy you're back. We missed you!" He kisses my head and walks away. "You are probably tired huh?" "Dean I've been asleep for 5 months I think I'm rested." He smirks, "Oh yeah." He takes my hand, "It feels good to hold your hand again, I never thought..." "Hey let's not do that tonight ok. I just want to be in your arms again." He nods and leads me to our room, he pulls out my shirt, "I thought you might want this." "You kept this?" "I kept everything." I took my shirt and started to take my pants off he turns around, "What are you doing?" "Being a gentleman." "Since when?" "Hey!" I laugh, "Oh that is the best sound." He says under his breath but I could hear it. "You know if Cas hadn't been by my grave I was ready to come in here and strangle you for making a deal!" "Oh." "Dean?" "I'm not gonna lie Nic I tried but Crowley had a no deal with Dean alert put out." "Dean Winchester!!!" "Get mad at me all you want Nic, I wasn't gonna live my life without you." "Next time I see Crowley remind me to thank him!" "Huh yeah." "Hey, I know you hate Crowley and so do I but if it wasn't for this mark you would be dead, so I'm gonna cut him some slack." "You can do whatever you want, you ready for bed?" "Well....I'm not tired so can you think of anything we can do..." He pulls me close to him, "I can think of a million things I want to do." "What are you waiting for Mr. Winchester?" "Not a damn thing Mrs. Winchester." To have his lips on mine was the greatest feeling in the world, he was so gentle with me, I wish I could spend the rest of my life in bed with him.

"Do you wanna talk about how you were feeling when I was gone?" He exhales, "I was gone. I mean I cared about nothing, I was lost, I drank myself to sleep every night i snapped at people hell I even knocked Sam out." "I hope all those feelings were based on loss not on guilt." "I hated myself for what I did." I sit up with the blanket covering my front, "Hey listen, you for one were a demon and for two I jumped in front of an ax I mean who does that?!" "Only the most amazing selfless person I've ever met." "So no more of that guilt shit!!! This is our second chance so I want nothing but happiness and to live everyday like its our last." "I want that dream." I cock my head, "What?" "When I was holding you in my arms after I..you told me about a dream you had with our kids." "Oh yeah, I guess I just put it out of my mind because..." He stops me, "No. No more putting our life on hold." "What are you saying?" "I'm saying I'm ready, I mean if you are?" "How is this gonna work? I mean we still have demons to deal with?" "This place is like a safe place, and I don't care if the devil comes back I am never again going to do anything that would put you or our kids in danger." I trace his arm, "What about this?" "I can control it now." "How?" "I killed Cain, because he was killing innocent people not because the mark made me and after I did it I felt no anger or rage, hell I handed the blade back to Cas without hesitation." "What changed?" "You. I thought of you and what you meant to me and being angry wasn't important any more." "What about Metatron?" "Oh he'll get his you can bet on that but it won't be at the cost of us." "Do you really think..." "It's not going to be easy Nic, I know that but I'm tired of living life as an what if, so I'm all in ready for this." "Ok then, let's do it!" He grabs my face and kisses me. The next day the boys caught a case, "You comin?" "No Sam I think I'm gonna hang up my hunting boots." I look over at Dean and smile, "Am I missing something?" "No I've just got to get use to staying home." "Ok?" Dean smirks and they get ready to go, "Be careful." "Always." I kissed him, "I love you." "I love you back."