Lady Eilean

Chapter 50

Father shot me a withering glance that made me feel two feet tall. He swept his eyes across the study and grunted.

"So the pants were not a crass welcome home prank?" He said, voice rough from shouting and singing the night long.

"They are easier to work in," I explained. It did not surprise me that Father disliked the pants. It had taken Mother weeks to stop griping about how offensive they were to her nerves.

"No daughter of mine should work," Father boomed, coming around the desk and shooing me away.

I sprang out of his way, retreating to the side as he lowered himself into the chair. Watching him settle behind my desk and flip through my papers with disinterest made bile rise in my throat.

"I, uh, thought we could review some of the account books, Father? I could show you how things stand and give you an idea of the projects we have in progress around the estate," I said, pointing toward the open ledger by his elbow.

Father looked down and scanned a few of the pages, flipping them back and forth. He grunted and looked up at me with a pinched expression. "I think I am intelligent enough to comprehend your scribbles."

My mouth fell open in shock and my vision went red. "You were gone for almost a decade. We've changed things, have different partners and vendors and ways of working —"

"None done with my approval," he barked. "Like your damnable building project in the library. Why do we need to house books?" His eyes moved around the room, cataloging the changes. "You rearranged everything by the looks of it."

Alex rested his hand on my back and I swayed against it.

Father huffed, shutting the ledger book. "I meant what I said last night, you've done a fine enough job here, Eilean. Now let someone who knows what they are doing take control."

My heart pounded in my chest and my breath came fast. Alex stood up and took a small step, angling himself between me and my father. With a stern look from me, he stepped back.

"We paid off the entire debt, Father. And I changed the schedule for rent payments, so there is a continual cash flow into the estate rather than an annual input. I think you will find that someone did know what they were doing."

"Very good, very good," he said, waving me away.

I noticed his eyes were unfocused, they rolled around in his head clouded and unseeing. He couldn't maintain eye contact, and he swayed unnaturally in his seat.

"Are you alright?" I asked, leaning over the desk to get a closer look at him.

He looked up, his flighty gaze pausing on my face for a mere moment before moving on to the fireplace, the walls, the ceiling. "I'm fine. Maeve, I've told you about your womanly fussing."

A chill ran down my spine. "Father..."

"Eilean!" He said, snapping his attention back to me and grinning. "What the devil are you doing here? Go find your brothers. I need to speak to them and I can't have you underfoot. I'm sure there is a dancing lesson you're late for. I grow weary of paying for you to blow off tutors, child."

"Sir —" Alex started, but I cut him off.

"I am hardly a child that is underfoot! For the last six years, I ran this estate. You would overlook me so cruelly? Call in my brothers who have no experience in handling these affairs?"

Alex shifted his weight. I could tell he was uncomfortable, but this was my battle to wage, and he knew that.

Father scoffed and shook his head, swinging his head back and forth and back and forth on a loose neck. "No, no, no, your brothers have more experience than you, lassie. I'd like to see you shoe a horse or determine the best harvest rotation."

"I have done all of that and more while you pranced around on your stupid quest for glory," I sneered.

Father turned back to the ledgers, flipping them open and slamming them closed. He repeated the same movement a few times, something fanatical and haphazard in his violent movements.

I looked at Alex in disbelief, but he was studying my father. Concern twisted across his brows as he bit the inside of his cheek, thinking. Puzzling out the erratic behavior.

"Father, do you hear me?" I asked, attempting to be reasonable.

He looked up and jumped. He let out a slight hoot as if surprised to see me standing before him. "Oh! Eilean! It's you! Don't you look beautiful today!" He grinned at me with a dazzling smile.

I stepped back. Now I was spooked. Was this some kind of game?

"Will you go fetch Thomas for me, love? I need to discuss his marriage. He's cavorting with that kitchen girl again. Terrible business. Your mother is livid, of course."

Thomas was dead. Had been for many years. Walther had been the one pursuing "that kitchen girl". My hands went numb with trepidation. There was something wrong, very wrong. My stomach was cold. Dread turned me into a stone. My father had lost his sense of reality. Battle madness, I realized. Looking at Alex, he nodded, our thoughts following a similar vein.

Father slapped the desk, making us jump.

"Did I or did I not give you a command?" He shouted, his eyes black with fury.

My blood ran like ice. Taking a deep breath, I nodded, "Yes. Of course, sir." I answered as meekly as I dared, then turned to leave.

Alex followed behind, pulling the door shut once we were in the hallway.

"Alex —" my voice shook.

"We should go talk to your mother and brothers at once. We need to confirm our suspicions. Then, and only then, we can devise a plan." Alex ran his hands through his hair. His eyes were stark and hopeless.

Taking a few shaky breaths, I agreed.

An enraged yell came from inside the office, then the shattering sound of pottery. An inkwell or teacup hurled across the room. I wished for the ability to see through solid oak, to understand the secrets now hidden behind the thick doors. I wished I could push open the doors and find my father there — the father I remembered with my remaining scraps of childhood recollection. The anger I could endure. The aloofness was familiar. But something fundamental in my father's makeup was gone. Never to return.

"Come on," Alex said, holding out his hand. His face fallen and his smile more like a grimace.

I let him lead me away.