The Heartbreaker Agreement

Chapter Sixteen: I Love You

I glanced past him at Sarah, she walked up next to Jaimie, her mouth wide open and her hand clenched in Jaimie's who was no longer holding on to Erik. I looked away from them, from Jaxon, and stared at my feet.

Jaimie didn't need to see me this way, no one needed to see this, but I had to finish the agreement. Jaxon had said the words and Emily was using it against me, against Jaxon, and I couldn't let that continue. Not passed today, no.

Jaxon had been mine and now I had to throw it away and put myself down so that this boy, this incredible boy, wouldn't hear it from someone else. If I broke his heart, it would be easier than someone else. It was the damned agreement and it was going to haunt me.

"Not to you," He whispered as he took a step forward with a shaky finger pointed at me. "I never even thought about doing it to you; I told you Avalon, you were the girl I thought was perfect for me, the girl I'd been waiting for." My chest constricted and I felt the pain so terribly that I blinked rapidly to hold in tears and clenched my hands into fists. "I was wrong; you're a slut just like the rest of them, a useless bitch."

The Jaxon, I had opened up to, was gone and a new one stood in his place, one that knew pain like the other had. He turned and walked away. His head higher than I'd ever seen before, not a tear staining his face; he seemed stronger than I'd ever seen before. He could walk away from it, but I was rooted in place.

The worst thing was that I'd already broken the agreement. I was in love with Jaxon; and I didn't know how or when it happened, but hearing him say the words first was what broke through.

I loved Jaxon Rhyker, I felt it in my bones and maybe that's what made it so real. Maybe that's how you know that love is real; when you feel it in your bones because your bones are the longest lasting piece of you. When you die and everything else deteriorates, your bones are the only thing that's left. So maybe when you feel love like this, it will always be there.

But Jaxon wouldn't be.

Agreement Complete: Heartbreaker Broken.

Status: A Heartbreaker.

***

Have you ever had one of those days where you contemplate everything...life; death; everything? You have words stuck in the back of your throat, like an infection. Your throat itches and your chest feels too tight against your skin. Your face is red and splotchy and you're mind is shoving things down your throat and out of your mouth like vomit.

Your head aches and you try so hard to forget, to get all these thoughts out of your mind, but nothing is leaving. The thoughts just keep coming and coming and you can almost hear what people are thinking of you. You can hear their hate towards you.

That was me. Jaxon had walked away, but I could hardly move. My body was aching and my stomach was ready to hurl. I was screaming at myself more than him.

"I hate you!" I yelled. My fingers were pulling at my hair and I was blubbering. I wanted it to end. I didn't want to think about Jaxon, but when he was gone Emily was there, smirking, laughing almost. "Are you happy?" I asked and with that, my body found it in me to run. I was gone.

I drove home, and it wasn't fast, not like how I came to the school, no it was slow and time consuming. I needed to think of nothing else but speed limits and the lights to my house and the stop signs. I took the longest route, but even then I was suffering. Jaxon's voice would slip into my mind and then Brandon's and Emily's. I could hold nothing back.

I drove up my drive way and stopped in front of the house, not taking my normal spot, and I sat in the cold car. I was going to get sick again, but I couldn't tell myself to move.