The Call

4

Meredith must have seen it in her eyes because she backed down. "You lose someone too?" she asked.

All Rorish could do was nod.

Meredith seemed to consider this. "Okay," she whispered.

Rorish pushed open the door to the ER and led Meredith to Amelia's bed.

xxx

Amelia was slowly becoming aware of her surroundings although her eyes were closed. She was in a weird state of consciousness where she couldn't quite rouse herself awake but could hear what was going on. She knew she wasn't alone, there was another doctor with her-an intern she guessed. A hungry intern, judging by how quickly she had finished that bag of chips. When the crunching and crinkling stopped, the doctor did a thorough vitals check. Then the doctor started talking.

"I don't know if you can hear me... my name is Malaya, I'm a first year resident. I guess you'd probably understand because your records say you're a doctor. Dr. Rorish sewed up the cuts on your wrists. She did an excellent job."

Amelia heard a soft woosh as Malaya sat down. "I lost a patient earlier today..." Malaya hiccupped "He came in as an overdose, and we saved him you know? He was stable... we even talked for a few minutes. He was nice. But he was really sad about something. His daughter I think."

Amelia was torn. One part of her wanted to roll her eyes at this girl, but the other part of her- the bigger part of her empathized. She wished she could fall asleep again, she didn't want to hear where this was going.

"I was paged to a trauma," Malaya continued. "He said he was okay. It only took him five minutes. He swiped some medication from another patient and injected it into his IV."

Damn. Amelia thought, that guy was smart. Damn, why was she telling her this? She didn't want to hear this. Go back to sleep, she thought, please.

"I'm not going to let you screw your life up Dr. Shepherd." Malaya said fiercely, "Not today."

Great. Amelia thought.

There was a sound of footsteps and Amelia heard Malaya clear her throat

"How's our patient, Malaya?" Dr Rorish asked

"Still unconscious but stable..." The voices faded as Amelia heard something else. Meredith's gasp.

xxx

Meredith approached Amelia's bedside as Dr. Rorish and her resident discussed Amelia's treatments. Amelia was sleeping. She looked so different on the hospital bed. Her skin was pale and clammy and her usual shiny dark hair lacked lustre. Gone was her intensity, the force of nature that had on a few occasions plowed into her and Derek's life. Instead she was replaced by this...shell.

Besides the obvious bandages on her forearms, there appeared to be no other trauma. She slashed her wrists. Meredith tried to push back the memories of cleaning blood off the floor. She breathed in sharply. "Her chart. Give me her chart."

"I don't think I can just-" The resident stammered

"It's alright Dr. Pineda," Rorish said. "Let's give her a few minutes." Dr. Pineda handed Meredith Amelia's chart and Rorish closed the curtains.

Meredith flipped the chart open and read the shorthand notes. She was surprised to see that Amelia coded twice but relieved when she read that her tox screens had come back clear. She put the chart down and clutched the rails of Amelia's bed. So now what?

She thought about her own experience in giving up. She had let go once. Just for a second she let go. She lost sight of the point. Was this the same deal? Or was it like her mother, who knew consciously or not, that she wasn't really going to die. Her mother wanted her lover to come back to her, but she didn't really want to die.

"Well, if you wanted me to come back, I did. I don't know why," she paced a little. "You... you're a lot, and I'm not sure I like you, but I guess you're family, so..." Frick, Amelia what the hell? She tucked a strand of Amelia's hair away from her face and sat down.

xxx

"You... you're a lot, and I'm not sure I like you, but I guess you're family," Meredith was saying, "so..."

Amelia felt a strand of hair being pushed off her face. She also felt the groggy feeling leaving. She twitched and wondered if Meredith noticed, but there was no response from her. She inhaled deeply, the oxygen from the nasal cannula made her more alert. Slowly, she opened her eyes. "Mer," was all she could manage at the moment.

"Amelia." Meredith said, strained, but not harsh or judgemental. It surprised her, but she never really knew what to expect from Meredith. Especially now, without Derek.

"What... What are you doing here?" Amelia asked.

"I guess I'm your person."

"My person?"

Meredith huffed. "Well Derek was probably your person, and I was just the backup..."

Amelia's face scrunched in confusion and Meredith responded with an annoyed look. "Never mind. I was on the emergency contact list."

"Oh."

There was just this long awkward pause. Amelia didn't want to talk about what happened, and Meredith didn't seem to want to ask. Finally, Amelia decided to help Meredith. "I'm fine," she said. "You can go."

"You're not fine."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

Amelia gazed at Meredith with contempt. Meredith could not possibly know how fine she was. She was fine, she was managing it. "No, Mer, you don't know. You left. But I'm fine. Really. Go back to your little hole in the ground... and I will deal."

"Amelia, you slashed your wrists!" Meredith said.

"Meredith...," Amelia enunciated, God, she was so tired of this, so tired of people's pity. "How I choose to feel my pain is none...OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!"

Meredith stepped back, visibly shaken. Amelia put her best angry face forward. She was not going to be someone's project. She was managing. She was fine. Derek was dead and she was fine, just fine.

"No..." Meredith said.

Amelia rolled her eyes. Just like Derek, she had to get the last word in. Whatever.

"No," Meredith said again. "You coded on the table Amelia, twice. And they had to shock you, twice. So you're not okay. You let go. And you know what the really sad part is? I don't know if I have it in me to care, Amelia. I don't know you. I came here because of Derek. Derek loved you. I thought I could try..." She stopped and looked at the ceiling. "I never should have come," She wrung her hands in defeat. "I'm sorry, I can't... I just can't" Meredith turned on her heel and left.

Amelia shifted onto her side, she looked at the bandage on her left arm and smiled a little. The drugs were wearing off. Finally, she could feel something.

xxx

A/N: Thanks everybody! Please vote or comment! What will happen next?