Can't Stop Me (Sick!Deku AU)

Shut Up

Deku's stomach made a noise and his eyes suddenly found the ground, "Deku." He didn't move, "Deku did you skip breakfast?" Nothing, "Izuku Midoriya if you do not answer me right this fucking instant I am going to forcefully feed you so m-"

"-AH! I'm sorry! I just wanted to see you..." He had jumped and started waving his hands, "S-See my mom was busy and I am not that good at cooking just kind of okay but I didn't want an okay breakfast so I-"

"-So you had no breakfast?" Deku went silent and just nodded. I tried to roll my eyes so hard that it would hurt and then grabbed his wrist, "Stupidest motherfucker I swear." I don't like cooking but it seems that's what we're going to do since I have no more spending money this month. The walk back home from this park isn't too far so we should be fine.

I used to like cooking, used to like it a lot. I loved cooking with that fucking bit-with, my mother. That changed though because eventually there was nobody there with me when I cooked. My parents would leave for business trips and I would be left at home, cooking my own food, making my own meals. Alone. For days. Ms. Midoriya didn't let Deku come over when my parents weren't home and eventually it felt like cooking meant I was alone. Katsuki all alone in the kitchen. Sucks too, I'm a hell of a good cook. Sometimes I miss my own genius in the kitchen.

"My parents aren't home," I told Deku as we entered my house. He took his shoes off without a word and I headed inside, "They're opening a new store in Shanghai with some French designer so we have the whole place to ourselves."

"I hope the new store does well," Deku said from behind me. I could tell he was reluctant to come inside for some reason. I turned to look at Deku and found him holding something...

"Deku?" I hesitated for a moment but Deku didn't budge. This is starting to weird me out, "Hey what's that?" Again, no response. What is going on with him today? I decided to go over and look at it myself, "What is that?" I didn't recognize what was in his hands, "Looks like a-"

"-Like a clay All Might, huh?" Deku's voice was very low. I have never been scared of Deku before and I don't know if what I'm feeling is scared but it's somewhere around there, "A doll. A clay doll..." Deku wiped his eyes and I went to hold his shoulder or something but he pushed my hand away, "It's a clay All Might doll that I made for Mr. Yagi!" He was staring at me like a feral animal, "Why do you have this, Kacchan?"

The tears in Deku's eyes made the anger I felt towards All Might flare up again, "I..." What do I say? That All Might left it here somehow through his carelessness? That All Might was so carefree with a gift from his pseudo-son? So I came up with the only thing I could think of, "I-I don't know?"

Deku reacted to my answer like I had slapped him. His hold on the doll tightened and as it did a cracking noise began to emanate from it, "Why? Why would he-he...did he give it to you?!" Deku looked at the doll and then, with the most violent expression I've ever seen his small face take, he raised his arm in what seemed like slow motion, and then as if somebody had hit fast forward, he slammed it into the ground. Millions of shards flew in every single direction, some of them even landed in the wall, "Was I not good enough for him? Did he see you at school? Did he like you more? Like everybody else does?!"

What do you say to something like that? I don't fucking know...I knew All Might was going to hurt Deku if he kept putting him on the back burner like this, "Deku-"

"-Shut up..shut UP!" Deku put his face in his hands. I waited a moment for him to cry, to be with himself. I know a lot about being angry and I know he needs to feel it, not feel like he has to stop it. Deku has never been this angry before, never. But it's completely fucking valid.

I counted out a minute in my head before stepping across the broken clay, ignoring how some of the pieces dug their way into my flesh. I pulled Deku into my chest as hard as I could, holding him there securely.

Deku didn't push me away this time, didn't scream at me this time. He let out a broken-sounding cry and then I felt him reciprocate the hug. The elephant in my hand felt kind of awkward in this situation so I let it drop to the floor. I could feel Deku's knees give up and I caught him, picking him up.

"I'm going to take you to the couch," Deku nodded and I carried him into the living room. We sat down and he finally looked up, "He didn't give me the doll by the way." I told him and he chuckled in that way you do when you're crying. A sort of half chuckle that's filled with pessimism.

"I know," He responded. He took a deep, shaky breath and more tears followed but the sobbing had subsided, "I know...it doesn't..make sense. I just-I was-"

"-Angry?" Deku nodded and I laughed a little, moving him so he was next to me instead of halfway on my lap, "I can understand angry more than anybody else." I told him.

Deku laughed softly, a real laugh this time. It didn't last long, "Sorry." He looked like a kicked puppy right now, "For...making a mess and yelling at you. I didn't mean it really I-"

"-Shut up, it's fine." Deku's gaze became very distant as he tried to calm down and I patted his head, "You don't have to apologize and especially not to me."

Deku was always good at controlling his emotions. I could see in his eyes the way he was compartmentalizing the way he felt just now, how he was piecing himself back up and forcing himself to return to calmness. I'm not sure it's all that healthy but, again, I'm not a damn therapist.

"Kacchan," Deku was looking at me with clearer eyes, "We've both been lying a lot recently..." If that isn't the understatement of the year, "I mean lying and stretching the truth, hiding things from each other, and we haven't been talking like we used to. Before UA I mean."

"Yeah," Deku's freak out today has been a long time coming. I had been pushing off this whole communication thing but it is time in fact it has been time for a long time. I'm ready to share everything I know with him and I can tell that he's ready too, "I miss it. The talking." I dug my nail into my thumb to force out the next words and not run from them, "I miss you, too."

Deku's eyes became misty again and a smile finally returned, "I-I miss you too, Kacchan." He hesitated a moment and then like an excited child he jumped me. Literally. He jumped on me.

"Shit-"

"-Sorry."

We fell onto the other side of the couch and then we just stayed there for a moment in silence before, at the same moment, we both burst into laughter. I liked this, even if what preceded it was unfortunate. As the laughter died down we sat up again, a little closer than we were before.

"What I know is going to upset you," I told Deku, "Also I was forced into secrecy about it so you won't be allowed to tell anybody. Not that I think you're a snitch." Deku nodded seriously.

"Same with me," Deku said, "Well not the secrecy thing. It's more like a bunch of personal things but they are upsetting too. Maybe. Well, one of them is. For sure. But-"

"-Shhh," He grumbled and I rolled my eyes again, "So you're sure that you're okay with this?"

"Yes."

I stared into his forest green eyes and hoped I wasn't making the biggest mistake I could make. I don't want Deku to feel upset, ever, but above that, I don't want an incident like today to ever happen again.

I closed my eyes for a moment to ask myself if I was going to do this, to reveal this to Deku. Breath in, breath out, yes I am. I opened my eyes and found Deku's again...

"Mr. Yagi is All Might."