Blind Ambition | ✓

26 | Ghosts, Part II

Maybe if I didn't have pure grandiosity pumping through my veins, that would have actually hurt.

"That's so interesting, Kennedy," I deadpanned her. "You know who you are?"

She shrugged. "Enlighten me Dallas. Who am I?"

"Absolutely nobody." I paused and rested my hands on the counter, leaning closer into her. "And you'll do well to remember that."

I ripped myself away from her and tried not to feel the sting of her words. My head was spinning, but by this point, my body was moving on its own as I maneuvered through the first floor and to the stairs. A group of girls I didn't even think went to our school were huddled around another girl, hysterically sobbing. She glanced up at me as I got closer to them, with little rivers of black running down her cheeks. I bolted past them, up the steps two at a time.

There was something to be said about having sudden, striking clarity of what you want. The world opened up, and I felt so god damn invincible, nothing could break me. Not even falling harder than I ever thought possible.

It felt like a heavy, stale haze had lifted when I made it upstairs. Ghosts of twisted up relationships could be heard behind closed doors, and I slipped into the first open room I saw before my own ghosts came to haunt me.

Anthony had two older sisters, and despite the fact that neither of them lived at home, the Higashiokas kept their daughters' bedrooms as if they were gone forever, and nobody could bear the deconstruction of someone's whole existence in a little room. Ryann had taken a gap year before going to college and traveled all over Asia, so her walls were covered in little tapestries and far too many photo collages tangled up in string lights. A jade colored dragon figurine sat on her bedside table, and I wondered why she wouldn't have taken something like that with her when she moved out. Jade was considered to be a lucky stone, and usually signified things like virtue, kindness, and wisdom. Maybe Ryann just didn't need any more luck.

I lowered myself onto the bed and forced myself to pay attention to my breathing. Inhale. Count to four. Exhale. Do it again. Pretend you can't feel your heart trying to rip itself through your chest. Act fucking normal.

The door creaked open, and it made me jump to my feet. Kaia slipped in and shut the door behind her with a soft click.

"I saw you run up here like something was chasing after you." She bit down on her lip. "You alright?"

A clap of thunder rumbled the house, and soon enough sleet and snow and ice could be heart pelting against the windows. The whole room dimmed, but something about her still glowed in the little twinkling lights hung from the walls. It was the first time we'd spoken directly to each other in what felt like weeks, and her first words asking me about my wellbeing seemed to only rattle my insides. If I was her, I'd hate me, just like Kennedy said.

I swallowed any of that bullshit down, and the grandiosity took over. "I was looking for you, actually."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah," I nodded, dragging my gaze up the length of her body. She wore a leather jacket that looked like it was large enough to fit me, but the way it casually hung off her shoulder made it seem perfect for her. It was still nowhere near as perfect as the way her jeans hugged every inch of her long legs.

"You, uh...you look really good," I sighed out.

"Well, thank you." A smile cracked whatever stone-faced facade she had going on. "You...you look soaking wet, actually."

"You missed the champagne showers earlier," I grinned. "And everyone singing Bon Jovi."

"I'll try to contain my disappointment," she said with a grimace.