Luxsoka-The Things we don't Say

Spice

                                                                                         Ahsoka 

"Ashley!" I heard her fist pound at the door as I sat in the corner of the low-lighted room. "Ashley, I need to talk to you," She called over and over again before I finally picked up my head. 

"You can come in!" I told her, as the door slowly slid open, her small face peeking in through the crack. 

"You want to kick some Empire butts, right?" Natarox was being serious, and yet there was a small laugh in her voice. 

"Yeah?" I looked up at her before she sat down by my side, her long pale green fingers handing me a datapad. 

"I have some for you, there's a mission, with a commanding officer, and high workers. I'm sure you can either kill them or turn them over or capture them whatever you desire," She poked out with a toothy grin, as I watched her face steadily. 

"I'm not going to kill them," I whispered low enough so she wouldn't hear as I looked down at the data, at the plan of action the Imperials had. 

"NATAROX!" Our heads turned to the door as the thunderous loud male voice echoed through the halls. 

"Great," She muttered under her breath as her purple hair swept down to her shoulders. "You have to get out of here,"

"I'm not going to leave you-" I argued back at her, as her kind eyes looked into mine before the door burst open, and the smell of burning plasma filled my nose like a disease. 

Natarox jumped in front of me as if to distract them, to make them think that I wasn't there possibly. 

"What do you want Cain?" She spat out threateningly, as I could hear her footsteps walking towards him. 

"I desire to buy off your weapon, or well, if you don't think credits are fit enough, maybe I'll just steal her," He waved his wide fingers in her face.

"I won't let you have her, credits or not," Natarox raised her voice, as his face sat inches away from hers.

That's what I was to people now, a weapon, a weapon just for their devices, just to murder off imperial officer, by imperial officer.

"She's my weapon, not yours, the credits go to me, they are rightfully mine," She bites back at him as if she didn't even know I was here as if almost I should have known I was only their tool.

That's when I ran, they were too heated, arguing how they would use me to even notice, that I ran right through the front door.

I listened as their voices began to fade out behind me, as yet maybe soon they would realize, and then they would run. They would run and come fetch their weapon.

Making sure my lightsabers were at my side, I dashed down the other hall, running and sprinting as fast as my legs could take me.

Where I would go where I would end up was uncertain, but I would figure it out, I just had to get away, away from them, away from all the people who wanted to control me.

My whole life I had always been controlled by someone. First, it was the Jedi order, and then when I left everything seemed empty, and I went back, not as a Jedi, and yet I was still under their control.

They even kidnapped me when I was a child, giving me absolutely no choice but to follow what they wanted me to, and me, how could I ever be my own person how could I ever seize to know who I inspired to be, who I wanted to be.

And even so, I didn't know.

I didn't know who I was.

I didn't know who I would be.

"Is that the rest of the spice?" The lengthy man huffed behind the counter, as the sealed boxes sat lined up, close enough for me to run to.

It was a move, just to hide with spice, but there was a chance they would notice.

"Here," I threw him the credits across the floor, as his eyes picked up.

"What's this?" He lifted his chin with suspicion as I stood in front of him firmly.

"Smuggle me to whenever you are delivering," It wasn't a request, and it wasn't so much of order either.

With a click of his tongue and the light shine of the credits, he led me on, hoping to confiscate whatever else he could find on me when we arrived.

I would leave Wobina, that's all I knew, and to be honest whatever planet that was far from here would be just fine.

New place, new name, new job, that's how it went, without question or say.

I never knew this was how life would turn out, none of us did, and I can only wonder if I will have to run and hide forever.

Sometimes I felt like I was standing above ground, that I could feel the breeze on my skin, and the people's voices, but at the same time I felt as if I was rowing in the deepest ocean, no light, no air, nothing.

I let my eyes close slowly, as the wave of tiredness began to seep n. I never felt comfortable sleeping, not in that building, not when my guard would go down.

I least in this ship it was only me, I couldn't feel any presence with me, I was alone as always, and the worst thing that could possibly happen is that the pilot just murders me. 

Thank you so much for reading :)

May the Force be with you <3