A/N: so the title has like nothing to do with the story lol. It's also kinda short. But I mean in my personal opinion I think for my first time writing anything for this pairing or in general, I think this is a pretty decent story to start with. NOw onto the story. Also i'm lazy and don't indent oOpS.
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Technoblade just couldn't understand what was so great about himself. Of course he would never admit that in front of anybody. He was technoblade! He couldn't be weak. He refused to be weak.
And yet, and time dragged on, that weakness became harder and harder to hide. Techno just fell down and down that rabbit hole of self doubt and hatred. There were so many moments where he just wanted to tell someone who complimented him 'Why? Why would you compliment someone like me? I can barely do anything right!' but of course he would never say that, so he just kept quiet
You know how when we like someone or something we tend to only focus on the good or make up good reasons to justify a bad thing. Well Techno somehow did the exact opposite of what i just said. He could only focus on his failures and the negative aspects about himself. When he won a battle, he could only think about the mistakes he made. Grilling himself on them later, thinking 'how could i be so stupid.'
Or when he got blaze rods for Phil. He was just doing it to be kind, that's all it was. But when he gave them to him, the only thing he could think of was ' You're only doing this cause you want something from him.' Techno knew that that wasn't true, that he was just doing this to repay the kindness phil had given him. But in that moment, the guilt he felt was so overwhelming he thought he could die.
Technoblade often considered getting help when his problems got worse and worse, but he was Technoblade! He could never get help, because getting help meant admitting weakness and he can't have weakness. So he decided to just keep quiet and hope that it gets better.
But this story isn't just about mental health problems, like any good story we also need some romance~
(I'm NOT romanticizing mental health problems, they are a real problem and if you need help, then get help. NO one will judge you and no one should judge you! Stay strong! Things will get better and I KNOW you are a fighter so never give up! And if you need someone to talk to then I can give you a little advice! And remember even if you don't realize, someone loves and cares about you! Now on the the story :D)
Now, Dream, I think the only way to really describe Dream would be as the sun. Always radiating positivity and happiness. So it's really no wonder why Techno felt himself drawn to dream. They ended up meeting at a 1v1 pvp match. Dream was paired up with Techno. Techno only joining because he was bored and needed a way to take his mind off his problems. But anyway they fought and Technoblade won. At the end of the fight Techno asked Dream if maybe, he could possibly get his phone number. ( Let's pretend phones exist in minecraft) Dream being the totally good and kind person he totally is, gave it to Techno.
Over the course of the next few weeks, dream and Techno grew very close. Talking almost every day. (Now only if Technoblade could post videos like that, then we'd be good) So it was really no wonder when both men found themselves falling for the other. But there was really only one problem, and that was Technoblade. He liked Dream, but of course he thought that he didn't deserve Dream. That someone as selfish as Techno didn't deserve the Dream, and so to help heal the pain of heartbreak and guilt. He began to slowly close himself off from dream. That of course backfired so spectacularly.
Dream was worried to say the least, His crush, technoblade, had been slowly ghosting him for the past few days. Dream was worried that he had come on too strong. He hadn't really been trying hard to hide his obvious crush. But had he misunderstood Techno's texts? Had he gone too fast for Techno? So he decided to confront Techno about it, asking him to meet up to hang out.
Techno of course was caught off guard when Dream just randomly asked to hangout. Of course that would put a damper on his plans to slowly try and let Dream go. I mean he could easily say that he was busy and not go. But just the thought of that made Techno feel so guilty. So he decided to just say yes.
And so that's how Techno found himself walking in a forest with Dream. It was going pretty well, they had just been chatting, making small talk, when Dream said a question that made Techno's blood run cold.
"So how come you've been ghosting me the last few weeks?" Techno had to figure out a good excuse to say. Because he 100% couldn't say 'I like you, but you deserve better than me so I'm distancing myself from you.' Nope.
"O -Oh no, it's just that i've been really busy in the last few weeks" Techno was pretty sure Dream didn't believe a word of that lie.
"Techno," The worry in Dream's voice made Techno flince. " If it was something that I did, then you can just tell me, and I'll make sure not to do it again."
Those words made Techno's blood boil. But he wasn't angry at Dream, no he was angry with himself. How could he have been so selfish, to have made Dream worry. With that thought, guilt mixed with anger, and Techno could feel something snap inside of him. Because the next thing he knew, he was spilling his guts to Dream
"N- NO! Dream, how could you even think that! How could you ever think it was your fault!? You're perfect! That's why I fell in love with you! Because you're so kind and pretty and your smile and laugh are perfect. But I don't deserve you!," Techno had to stop for a second to get a breath. " You could never fall in love with someone like me! Do you even begin to know half of the problems that I have? You don't need someone drowning in self-doubt and hatred. You deserve better!"
Techno wasn't even sure when he had started crying, but he could feel the hot tears running down his face. The look on Dream face definitely wasn't helping. His face was something of disbelief and something he couldn't quite place. Techno was scared that dream would hate him.
Even if Techno was distancing himself, he still enjoyed Dream's company. In Dream's company, Techno forgot about his problems even if just for a second.
"Oh Techno, What are you even saying? I don't care if you think you aren't good enough. You're the person I fell in love with. I want you to be happy, whether you're with me or not. I hate to see you suffering right in front of me." The gentleness in Dreams' voice made Techno calm down a little.
All Techno could do was smile and nod his head. They both knew the road to recovery for Techno would be long and winding. He might never be able to really truly learn to love himself. But Techno knows that with Dream, the thought of beating the battle seemed much more manageable. After all, Technoblade never loses (Lets just pretend that this is true)
