Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 24

A week after Joe's surgery, Christmas is only one day away. Both Rami and Gwil texted that they'd stop by and bring some Christmas food. And even though Joe always loves to celebrate Christmas, his mind is now far from holiday happiness. All he can think about is how he can help Ben. He totally gets why the boy doesn't want to be discharged. Then again, faking you're in pain isn't the solution. But what is?
"What are you frowning about?" Ben asks Joe.
The ginger gives his boyfriend a small smile. "Nothing. Just thinking." He says. Then he opens his arms. "Can we cuddle?" He asks with pleading eyes.
Ben smiles and nods. He gets out of bed, and crawls next to Joe. "Hi." He says with a giggle when Joe makes their noses touch.
"Hi." Joe smiles before pressing his lips against Ben's. He snuggles close to Ben's chest, and briefly closes his eyes. For a while, he simply focuses on Ben. On his slow, calm breathing which somehow always gives him a great sense of groundedness. On the small gesture of Ben rubbing soothing circles on his back with his thumb. And on Ben's heartbeat, which is way too slow but ever so rhythmic.
Joe is pulled out of his Ben engrossed trance by the blond boy speaking up. "How are you feeling?" Ben asks.
Joe chuckles softly when he hears the slightly worried undertone in his boyfriend's voice. "Fine. My pain relief is about to wear off but it's not that noticeable yet, don't worry." He says, knowing that just saying 'fine' will not stop Ben from worrying.
Ben gently kisses Joe's forehead. "Good." He whispers with a soft smile.

And again, the two just lie there cuddled up against each other in peaceful silence.
"I wish I'd be able to go to the mall and get you something for Christmas." Ben suddenly mumbles, giving Joe small kisses all over his face. 
Joe lets out a few giggles. "That's sweet. I wish I could give you something as well." He says when Ben has finally stopped peppering his face with kisses.
"I guess we'll just have to give each other two presents next year." Ben whispers.
Joe looks up, placing a small kiss on Ben's jawline. "I guess so. It'd be nice to celebrate Christmas properly for once." He says with a smile before intertwining their fingers.
Ben lets out a confused hum at that last sentence. But instead of asking further, he can feel himself doze off more and more.
Joe can't help but stare at the British boy with an affectionate smile on his face. He just admires his boyfriend for a while until speaking up, not even sure if Ben is still awake. "Benny?" Joe whispers.
Ben lets out a questioning hum, opening his eyes with a lot of effort.
"Could we maybe... tell them today?" The boy asks shyly.
Ben lets out a sleepy giggle. "You gotta be a little bit more clear, love. Who's them, and what do we tell them?" He asks.
Joe closes his eyes with a sigh. "Could we maybe tell my parents and friends about us being a couple?" He bites his lip awaiting Ben's answer. He could totally see why Ben would like to wait, since he hasn't really told anyone about being Queer yet. But Joe can't help but be a bit tired of hiding in front of his friends. 
The blond boy smiles and nods. "Sure. If you're ready then so am I." Ben says. 
Joe opens his eyes and looks up. "Really?" He asks surprised.
Ben smiles. "Yeah, why not? They are gonna find out someday. Might as well be on Christmas." He says with a wink.
Joe giggles softly. "You're so amazing." He buries his face into the crook of Ben's neck, wanting to be as close to him as possible. "You're not just saying yes to make me happy?" He asks, his voice muffled by Ben's hospital top. 
Ben shakes his head. "No sweetheart. I just don't want to hide my amazing boyfriend anymore." He kisses Joe's forehead to emphasise his words. As an answer to that, he can feel Joe smile into his skin.

Joe inhales Ben's scent, knowing how it always makes him feel safe. "You're cute." He whispers, intertwining his fingers with Ben's.
The latter hums contently when he feels how Joe starts rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. "Hmm... I love you." Ben mumbles without even thinking about it.
Joe's eyes flutter open, and he immediately sits up. "Did you just say...-"
Ben opens his eyes, now realising what he just said. "I- I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said. I mean, ehm, I d-did mean it, I just didn't mean to say it so soon, u-unless you don't want me to mean it which is okay too, and- I just…-" He rambles.
To shut Ben up, Joe smashes their lips together for a short kiss. "Baby, just tell me the truth?" He asks with a reassuring smile.
Ben takes a deep breath. "I did mean it. I love you." He says in a nervous voice. He raises his eyebrow when Joe puts his hand on his heart. "What is it?" The blond asks, starting to panic a bit. Was he right before? Is it too soon?
A big smile appears on Joe's face. "I… I just felt my heart starting to beat faster. For the first time in months my heart started to beat faster." He says full of disbelief. "I love you too! I love you so much." He crashes their lips together once more, starting a passionate kiss.
Ben gently tangles his fingers into Joe's hair, making it even messier than it already was thanks to being in the hospital. "God I really thought I just screwed up our entire relationship." Ben whispers breathlessly after they pull away from the kiss.
Joe can't help but grin at that. "And I thought I was the anxious one in this relationship." He lets his forehead rest against Ben's.
The latter closes his eyes with a smile. "Oh you definitely are." He says in a mischievous voice.