Let me live | Hardzello♡

Chapter 20

That night, Joe can't manage to fall asleep. His mind is too busy thinking about anything and everything, making falling asleep impossible. Of course his surgery tomorrow is keeping him awake and nervous, but that's not the only thing on his mind.
The only thing that's bothering even more than his upcoming surgery is Ben.
Ever since he and Ben shared their first kiss, Joe has been a bit confused. They're kissing, they're cuddling, and they're flirting all day long. But Joe isn't sure what it means. Joe doesn't want to scare Ben away by calling him his boyfriend. But he also doesn't want to be just someone Ben kisses whenever he feels like it. He wants to be more than that.
With a loud sigh, Joe turns around once again and buries his head a bit deeper into his pillow.
"Can't sleep Joey?" Ben's voice suddenly sounds.
Joe opens his eyes. "Hey, I thought you were asleep already." He says as he quickly forces a small smile.
Ben smiles. "I had a feeling you might be too nervous to fall asleep. So I stayed up." He explains.
"That's sweet." Joe mumbles, having to make a real effort to keep his eyes open.
Ben reaches out, taking Joe's hand in his own. "You'll be okay, really." He says reassuringly.
Joe frowns. "You don't know that for sure." He swallows.
Ben raises his eyebrow. "When I had my surgery, you said you've had a thousand surgeries and they all went well." He reminds the boy.
Joe moves his gaze to the ceiling. "Yeah well, I only said that to reassure you." He admits.
Ben gives him a questioning look. "So... they didn't always go well then?" He asks.
The ginger shrugs. "Of course they did. But that was surgery for a broken arm, or a smashed collarbone. Not a surgery where they'd cut into my heart." Joe says, getting more nervous the more he thinks about it.
Ben intertwines their fingers, trying not to get too mad at Joe's "father" in the meantime. "My surgery went great. I don't see a reason why yours wouldn't." He says, gently rubbing his thumb over Joe's knuckles as some kind of comfort.
Joe yawns and briefly closes his eyes. "I hope you're right." He mumbles.
Ben grins. "Of course I'm right. I'm always right, duh." He says before playfully sticking out his tongue
That finally manages to bring a small smile to Joe's face. "You wish." The boy says with a sleepy giggle.
Ben rolls his eyes with a smile. "True."
Joe smiles, staring into Ben's green eyes. "Thank you. I feel better now." He whispers.
Ben blows the boy a kiss. "I'm glad you do. Get some sleep, okay?" He says with a soothing smile.
Joe yawns and nods. "I'll try." He mumbles as he closes his eyes. When he notices Ben is about to unlink their hands, he tightens his grip. "Please don't let go." The ginger whispers.
Ben smiles widely. "Okay." He says as he tightly holds onto Joe's hand again. "You can always wake me up if things get too much." He adds.
Feeling too exhausted to say anything sensible to that, Joe simply nods.
With their linked hands dangling between their beds, the two boys slowly drift off to sleep.

{}{}{}

"Ben." Joe whispers. "Benny please wake up, I'm freaking out."
Ben lets out a soft groan before opening his eyes. "Why are you freaking out?" He asks as he rubs his eyes. He sits up a bit more straight, and looks at Joe. He frowns when he notices how fast the boy is breathing. "Come here Joey boy." Ben says as he opens his arms for the boy.
Joe gets up out of bed, and crawls under the duvet with Ben. "I don't know why I'm freaking out." He whispers. He buries his face into the crook of Ben's neck, still breathing rapidly.
Ben gives the boy a kiss on the head. "We have a whole hour before your surgery. Let's try to calm you down a bit, okay?" He whispers, running his hand through Joe's hair.
Joe swallows. "H-how?" He says in a shaky voice.
Ben shrugs. "Just try to focus on something else." He says as if it's obvious.
Joe raises his eyebrow. "Like what? This stupid surgery is all I can think about." He says in a stressed voice.
Then Ben suddenly starts to smirk. "I think I know something to get your mind off your surgery." He says, trying not to sound too nervous.
Joe looks up. "What's that?"
Ben gently cups Joe's cheek, leaning in to reunite their lips.
Joe soon melts into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of their lips moving together.
"W-will you be my boyfriend?" Ben whispers when they break the kiss to breathe.
Joe's eyes widen. "Really?" He asks full disbelief.
Ben nods. "Yeah, really." When he notices the overwhelmed look in Joe's eyes, he takes Joe's hand in his own. "You don't have to answer right now. I understand if you need some time." He smiles gently at the boy.
"I don't need time." Joe quickly says. "Yes. Yes, I'd love to be your boyfriend." He adds before smashing his lips against Ben's again.

***

The two spend the next two hours cuddled up in Ben's bed, simply enjoying each other's presence before Joe gets taken away for his surgery.
After a while of comfortable silence, Ben speaks up. "Joey? Can I take you on a date once we're out of here?" He asks, gently caressing the boy's cheek with his thumb.
Joe smiles widely, immediately starting to nod. "Yeah, I'd love that." He says softly as he gently lets his head rest on Ben's chest.
The blond has to suppress a hiss, not wanting to tell Joe how much it hurts. "I'm glad." He whispers.
"It's a date." Joe mumbles with a smile.
When Ben's phone makes the sound of an incoming message, Joe removes his head from the boy's chest so he can check his phone.
Ben's eyes dance over the screen as he reads the message.
"Who is it?" Joe asks when he sees a frown appear on Ben's face.
Ben sighs. "It's Allen." When he sees the worried look on Joe's face, he knows he can't hide the fact that he doesn't have a home anymore. "Yesterday he... uhm, he told me that the rental company put our house on sale because my mum and dad haven't been paying rent this month. They took away all of our stuff, including all the memories of my father I had. Every picture, every piece of his clothing, everything he ever bought me." He says softly, tears appearing in his eyes.
Joe's eyes widen. "What! How can they do that? Does the rental company know about your parents?" He asks, taking Ben's hand in his own.
Ben nods. "They do. They don't care." He whispers before swallowing.
Joe frowns, not really knowing what to say.

"So, what did Allen text you? At least let it be something happy today?" Joe asks after a while of silence, drawing small circles on Ben's stomach with his finger.
Ben shakes his head, clenching his phone in his hand. "Not really. He just texted me that I'm no longer in school." He sighs. "Because the monthly fee hasn't been paid they took me off the list. They even gave away my locker to some seventh grader, apparently. So I don't have a home, and I'm no longer in school. You're basically dating a hobo."
Joe can't help but smile at that last remark. "You'd be the hottest hobo in town." He says to lighten the mood a little. When Ben smiles a little, he places a sweet kiss on the boy's cheek. "I'm sorry about all that baby. You don't deserve all this." He whispers. He giggles softly when he sees Ben's cheek starting to redden.
Ben briefly looks away, blushing like crazy.
"Was it the baby thing?" Joe asks with a giggle.
Ben nods, his cheeks now the colour of a tomato. "I-it's just that... uhm, y-yeah, it was." He stammers embarrassed, not sure what else to say.
Joe grins. "Then I'll call you my baby more often. Because you look cute blushing like that." He says.
Ben nods with an embarrassed smile, his cheeks only darkening further in colour.
With a smile, Joe leans in for a kiss.
When a knock on the door is heard, the two quickly break the kiss.
"Hi boys. Are you ready for your surgery, Joe?" Lucy asks with a smile.
Joe nods before getting up and sitting down on his own bed. "I think I am, actually." He says with a nervous smile.
"Okay then. Let's get you to the OR." Lucy says, unlocking the wheels of the boy's bed.
"See you in a heartbeat." Ben says to the ginger with a reassuring smile.
Joe blows the boy a kiss before he gets taken to the OR.

____________

I'm back with another uploaddd

Don't panic if uploads take a while, I'm definitely finishing this story since I've already written all the chapters. Life is just a bit busy right now so I hardly have the time to proof-read chapters. I know how annoying it is when a wattpad story suddenly stops, so don't worry and stick around haha

Kisses from me xxx