Always You

Chapter 12: Out

But it's only been a few days of knowing them. These feelings were intense and confusing. She'd never had them and to have them so passionately and so quick was terrifying.

And instead of trying to communicate any of that, all she could think to do was cut it all off, to stop it completely. That was safe to her. It kept her emotions in and kept Y/N away from her, even if that's not exactly what she wanted she felt it's what she needed.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Let's get up and get going to the helicopter. I want to make sure everything is set before we take off," She answered as she sat up from her place on the bed.

Nat nodded and patted her arm before finally leaving her room to return down the stairs.

******

The three pulled into a field after a long and uncomfortably quiet three-hour car ride. Neither Yelena or Y/N had spoken to each other as Y/N opted to sleep the entire time to avoid any contact with Yelena, who had just stared out the window the whole drive.

As they all stepped out of the car, Nat stretched her arms up, "Well that was absolutely dreadful. Thank you both for being such stellar passengers. You really kept the car alive."

Neither responded or even acknowledged her statement. Y/N was still trying to wake up while Yelena was spotting the helicopter in the distance and making her way there. 

It was nearing one in the afternoon now and the sun was beating down on them in the open field. The walk from where they parked the car under some trees to the helicopter was not long, but was in fact brutal. 

A man stood in the distance next to the helicopter, waiting for the three to arrive.

"About time you made it here! It's hot as hell, Natasha!" Rick called out as they made their way to him.

A small smile grew across her face as she jogged over to meet him. Y/N followed shortly behind her as Yelena made their way around the helicopter.

"Thank you for doing this for us, Rick. How've you been?" Nat asked as she wrapped him into a hug.

While they talked, Y/N made their way around the helicopter as well, finally catching eyes with Yelena. They offered a smile, which was quickly discarded when they saw her turn away from them. She was now at the front of the helicopter, blowing steam up onto the window.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked as they laughed.

Instead of responding, she drew a smile in the fog on the window and then wiped it away. Y/N walked next to her and blew steam up on the window next to where she had, drawing a heart in theirs this time.

Yelena did smile a bit, which Y/N was incredibly thankful for. They reached out their hand to try to grab hers, but she had walked away just before they could catch her.

A smile is a good start, they thought.

Once Nat finished up her conversation with Rick, making sure that everything was where it needed to be and that the helicopter was in fact safe to travel in, the three made their way on and got set to go.

It was rather old and beat up on the outside, but the inside was not too worn down. There was enough room for them to all walk around comfortably and even some benches that were large enough for them to lay down on.

"Y/N, you're flying," Nat stated as she flopped down on one of the benches.

"What?! Why me?" They asked, hoping they'd be able to go back to sleep to continue avoiding thinking of what was happening to them emotionally.

She laughed, "Because you slept the whole car ride."

Without arguing further, they made their way to the front and sat their bag down next to them and began familiarizing themselves with the controls. As they did this, Yelena pulled out her map and sat in the seat beside Y/N.

"This is where we need to go," She stated as she pointed to the dot planted on the map in front of her. 

They looked over and nodded, "You can stay up here and guide me. It might be easier that way. Safer too."

She looked over the map, contemplating her response. Staying up here with them for the hour ride would be enjoyable, but she didn't want to talk about what had happened the night before. Not yet at least.

Yelena blew out a long breath, "I'm tired. I'll probably take a nap while we go. Will you be okay?"

Their eyes fell to their lap and then returned back to the controls, "Yeah. I'll be fine."

The tone in their voice showed how upset they were and it killed Yelena to hear them like that, but she just wasn't ready. She didn't want to leave them to sit in this feeling though.

Before heading to the back of the helicopter, she placed the map where it would be easily accessible for them. As she sat it down, they didn't look up. They just continued looking at the controls and trying to make sure they understood them all.

She wasn't sure what to do, so she just laid her hand on their shoulder and squeezed it gently. This did get Y/N to look up, seeing a small smile on Yelena's face that helped soften the look on their own.

They smiled back, nodding to show they were thankful for that little bit of reassurance.