Atlas

Smell

Addison pov:

[Is this the part where the brain scans shows where memories reside?
Some ambiguous shape in me suddenly producing light
Triggered like a tripwire, every time I breathe it in
Isn't it strange that a lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been?]

You brushed past me on your way out of the door, a slice of toast hanging from your mouth, coffee in one hand whilst the over holds your keys. Still over all those different smells the one scent I can always bring back to you I breathe in deeply.

Lavender.

You always smell of lavender. From the day I first met you 2 years ago till now you always smell like lavender. You became the reason I love the smell, it reminds me of you making me instantly feel at home.

[Like a time machine rebuilds the past, out memories return
Like remembering the ashes before we burn]

The first time I ever noticed it was on a random Wednesday a few days after I first met you. I was in the scrub room scrubbing out of a surgery that you had just assisted with. You came into the small room running your hands under the tap, as the soap washed down the drain my eyes traced you, figuring out what made you so appealing to my husband.

Once your hands were dry you reach to the back of your head untying the light blue scrap cap that was firmly on your head. As the scrub cap loosened your blond hair unraveled from its bun. Your hair spun as it flowed down your shoulders; and that's when I noticed it.

Lavender.

The smell filled the room, leaving me with the only option but to breathe it in. The smell flooded my senses clouding my mind as all I thought about was you. A small smile appeared on your face as you realised my mind was wondering somewhere else.

"Lavender your hair smells of lavender" I finally spoke the clouds disappearing from my mind. You looked shocked when I first said it like you never imagined anyone would ever notice; like it was your secret.

"Yeah it's my conditioner ... I washed my hair this morning" you replied running your finger tips through the ends.

"I like it" I said before leaving the room and you. After that unconsciously I found myself buying lavender scented candles as if some how it would make you appear; you would appear but only in my head. Every time I smelt lavender I would look up expecting to see you even if it was in a grocery store or down a random road.

[It is the friction that lights the match
Desperate attempts that make it last
So hold my breath for as long as I can
Before long, the wind swells in
Starting a fight I could never win
But I'll hold on as long as I can]

The first time you fell asleep in my bed your head was resting against my chest, your hair was sprawled out against my pillow. I rested my chin against your head meaning your conditioner was all I could smell. The smell of your hair and the feeling of you wrapped up in my arms sent me to sleep.

When I woke up you was gone, the side of the bed you once laid on was now cold. To anyone else they would never of known you had been there. I did though; the pillow next to my head now only smelt of you sending the flashbacks of the previous night to the front of my head.

I never expected to fall in love with you let alone the scent you had chosen to be your own. As time passed it became more obvious you had stayed round: the sheets always smelt of lavender, the bottle of lavender conditioner that sat next to mine in the shower and the constant lavender steam escaping from the bathroom.

Out of all the things that would of lead people to the possibility of us the smell of your conditioner I never imagined to be the one that made the puzzle complete. Callie had stopped by on her way home to catch me up on everything going on in her life. When she went up to my room to grab the top I was letting her borrow she must of seen the lavender conditioner on the side followed by the bed clearly slept in by two.

It didn't take her long to come downstairs all the evidence bundled up in her arms. "Your sleeping with Meredith Grey" she blurted out my heart stopped. I didn't know how to react we were in our own little bubble we hadn't spoke about telling people, we both knew we had to but had just never talked of the subject.

"What do you mean how could you possibly think that?" In that moment I couldn't figure out how she guessed I thought maybe she had found your clothes but no she has found your many lavender product's scattered around my room. She held them all up raising her eyebrows.

"How do you know Meredith uses lavender?" I always imagined that was my thing picking up on the smell of your hair. "I lived with her for a few months and she was the only one who brought anything lavender scented" she shrugged.

So it was still my thing to remember the way your hair smelt and pick up on it anytime we were together.

[It finishes against my will
The light goes out, my heart goes still
And just like that, I believe in ghosts]

The smell of lavender was almost like a ghost following me everywhere. It hadn't taken you long to leave your trail behind all over my house. The bathroom cabinet held the matching shampoo and conditioner, above the cabinet by the sink was the soap, on your bedside table was the hand lotion, in the living room was the candle and in the kitchen was the fresh lavender that you would bring around every week.

I don't mind though because it reminds me of you. It makes me feel safe the same way you do. And now I sit in the bath with you against my chest the whole bathroom smelling of lavender as we sit in our safe little bubble.

"You've never changed your conditioner" I whisper now wanting to break the calming silence.  You turn you head to look up at me. "From the first time you told me you liked it in the scrub room I knew I could never change it ... I love the smell of it but I've always kept it the same for you" you smile softly.

The lavender was for me, the smallest comment and the simplest things has become the one thing that instantly made me feel safe and home apart from you.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Ok so that was the first chapter.
I really wanted to start a new merddison famfic which wasn't so full on and shorter so I was listening to sleeping at last and came across the Atlas: II album and thought it could be cool to do one shots based on them.

For smell of course I had to do Merediths lavender hair conditioner which it brought up in almost all Meredith fanfics.

I will change up the pov too so you get both Addison and Merediths. I almost feel like these are them writing letters to each other.

Thank you for reading
- Amelia xox