Of the Northmost Winds and Skies

Chapter 30: A mellow guy with social anxiety named George hosts dinner

"Hey, Jamie?"

Jamie had been sitting wordlessly in front of Hiccup for a little while now, just concentrating on managing Toothless' tailfin. He stirred at Hiccup's voice, almost like a flinch. He was nervous too. Hiccup didn't blame him; this was a pretty awkward situation.

"Yeah?"

"I think... I'll drop you off with Jack, and then I'll fly on my own for a bit. Is that okay?"

Jamie turned around. His emotions were always clear on his face, which was why it was so amusing when he'd tried playing innocent earlier. Hiccup had known Jamie wanted to speak about something that he'd rather not say in front of Jack... he just hadn't thought it would come to this. And despite Jamie's laughing fit earlier – Hiccup honestly hadn't expected any other reaction from an eleven-year-old – it was clear he was worried for Hiccup. Which was heartwarming, but still made Hiccup's stomach churn.

"Okay," Jamie said, and nudged Toothless to change direction. At least this time, there were no questions asked.

When they landed and Jamie was the only one to get off, Jack raised his brows. "What's up?"

Did he sound nervous?

Hiccup definitely did, when he laughed in response. He cleared his throat. "Nothing. All's good. Just- We need to practice some difficult maneuvers. Jamie's not quite there yet."

Jamie shifted his weight. He seemed nervous as well, and Hiccup wished he didn't. He was putting a lot of faith in this kid right now.

Jack was looking at the sky, seeming wistful. Hiccup would've asked him to join him on Toothless, if he hadn't been in such desperate need for some time alone. "Okay," he then said, and looked down at Jamie. "Did you have a nice flight?"

Hiccup nudged Toothless before he could hear the answer to that question, his nerves getting the best of him. They took off, and Hiccup waited until they were definitely out of earshot before letting out a pitiful groan. He pressed his face against Toothless' head, raking his hands frustratedly through his hair. Toothless crooned confusedly. The sound comforted Hiccup just a tiny bit.

"Toothless," he murmured, still with his face pressed against the dragon's scales. "I am... an idiot."

The noise Toothless made in response didn't make it sound like he disagreed, but Hiccup wasn't in the mood to be offended. He gave a long deep sigh that eventually turned into a whine reminiscent of the noises Stoick's stomach made after consuming spoiled cod.

"Why was this having feelings-business so much easier when I was fifteen and crushing on Astrid?" he mumbled and let that thought simmer for a few seconds. "I mean, Astrid was just as unobtainable, let's be real. I had no chance with her. But still somehow more of chance than with..." He trailed off and grimaced, shaking his head. "This is pathetic. I am pathetic. This stinks, Toothless. I should just stop talking altogether. Make a vow, like Silent Sven... before he became Not-So-Silent Sven, but anyway..."

He turned his head to the side. He'd get a scale pattern embedded into his cheek like this, which could possibly clue Jack in on the fact that Hiccup was not up here to practice maneuvers, but rather to feel sorry for himself, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that right now.

First the Snow Queen, and now Jamie. It was only a matter of time before Jack found out, wasn't it? And what then?

Maybe it was a good thing... or maybe not. Hiccup was too scared to risk it.

"I hope Jamie's good at keeping secrets," he mumbled miserably.

Toothless growled softly. Hiccup huffed a laugh, thinking of all the secrets Jamie had been keeping for Jack already, and how many secrets he was still keeping. He knew there was more the two of them weren't telling him, but he didn't have the energy to ponder about it anymore. His mind was already stuffed with awful, wonderful, unnecessary things.