017 • ❝𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝?❞

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He excuses himself from the table and I run off after him in hope I could at least explain myself.

I find him in the garden, sitting on the bench. I already feel awful and guilty.

I sit next to him and watch as his face drops to the floor to reveal nothing but sadness.

"I'm sorry Elijah." I state and look out where I notice the chalet where Elijah and I were once about to attach to one another in a different way, like we did last night.

"You didn't tell me." He muttered, he tried to keep it that way but I heard him, I feel awful, I should've told him... But I couldn't tell him the truth that went along with it.

"I am sorry Elijah, I didn't have a choice. I have to marry him in order to unite our Mafia's." I state honestly and I am witnessing a face full of disgust and anger.

"Unite? Are you serious right now? You didn't tell me and we had sex last night, I put my heart on my sleeve and let you in again! After everything you have put my sister and I through!" He exclaims and ends his sentence with a scoff. "I'll always be thankful for what you've done for my mother, but I will not keep going around in circles with you Jayden." He admits and I find myself looking down at the floor with my guilt sitting in my body.

"What are you saying?" I ask and he looks up at me.

"I'm done playing your game, I didn't come back to you to get my heart broken Jayden, but who am I kidding? You're a Mafia leader after all."

"Have you slept with him?" He adds, I almost feel disgusted with his words.

"Are you joking me?" I reply with my mind.

"Answer the question Jayden." He sternly says.

"No." I answer with pure honesty just as I'm about to be thrown with another question.

"Do you plan to?"

"Fuck sake Elijah, no. I don't plan to sleep with him, why can't we still do this? Just us two? Even if I'm married it'll just be something written down." I state but I think I've probably made things much worse then they already where.

"I'm sorry Jayden, whatever this is." He indicates his hand between both of us before finishing his sentence. "I can't do it, I don't want to be apart of it." I nod in agreement and respect his decision. No matter what I'll never be happy.

"When's the wedding?" He asks, I take in a deep breath before answering, do I really need to answer? It's not like he's going to be there is it.

"Next Sunday." I answer honestly, his face falls as he witnesses my answer.

"Wow, okay."

He gets up and immediately goes.

"You know what Jayden, I don't regret meeting you. You've made my sister happy and you've made me happy by keeping my mother alive. I'll always thank you for that, but I can't have much to do with you anymore, I hope you respect that." He states and begins to walk away.

I watch from a distance as he pulls Olivia up and and they instantly walk out of the house hand in hand and the house already feels quiet. I don't understand why I didn't tell him, but it's all my fault.

I announce to everyone that I'm going for a shower and everyone just nods and continues with their conversation.

I finally get into my room where the silence is now welcoming me, I'm thankful to be witnessed with the silence.

I lock my bedroom door and approach the en-suite, I close that door too and strip all of my clothes of. The news was shocking to everyone who didn't know. I sighed and took in a deep breath before turning the knob of the shower to reveal the rush of water splash all over my body.

Coldness made the goosebumps emerge on my body, but my body was numb, I couldn't feel a thing. I tilted my head and felt as my hair got heavier and heavier with each drop that got added to the mixture. I used the shampoo to clean out the dirt that has lodged itself in my hair, I rub and massage my scalp in hope to remove all of the unwanted bacteria.

I tiled my head again and rinsed all of the bubbles out from my hair.

I continued to do this process again but this time with my conditioner, I rinsed it out of my hair and then used the body lotion all over my body. Massaging it into my skin was difficult, I could barely move. But I used my hand to scrape the lotion over my now bare skin. Bubbles appeared and made themselves at home on my legs.

Staring at my legs only reminded me that I needed to re-shave them, even though I have done them recently, I'm just unfortunate that my hair grows so quickly I was just thankful they are fair. I sighed and rested my head against the tiled wall as the water was still travelling down my spine, I waited and waited until I was finally ready to come out.

I wrapped the cotton towel around my body and held it close, I did the same with my hair and tied it up with a towel. I sat on my bed and was already staring out into space, I couldn't think straight what so ever.

I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get myself changed, I found my comfiest lounge wear set possible. It was grey but fluffy on the inside, that I was happy about. It gave me warmth but comfort at the same time.

After I got changed I threw myself on my bed and kept myself to myself. I brought my knees to my chest and rested my head on the tops of them, I took in a deep breath and finally took in the fresh air that was waiting for me. It must be late by now, I did spend hours in the shower.

I rested my head against the pillow and let the further amount of warmth encounter my body and finally settle me, my eyes roll and I'm already beginning to feel sleepy. I guess tonight was just another night.

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