A simple tune: Sherlock x Fem!reader

Chapter 14 - Best cousin

"Out the way!" Silence lasted no longer than 5 minutes as it seemed all three boys were snapped out of shock from an Irish accent. "The best cousin ever has arrived," Jim sings happily looking into the kitchen and letting his face fall. "Where is Y/n?"

"Bedroom," John nods his head as Mycroft backs up, eyeing Moriarty. "She might be a little bit..."

"Trust me, I dealt with her after her first break up and when she started her period, I can handle anything," Jim straightens out his suit, grabbing a gift basket from Seb and a pair of oven mitts, opening the door slowly and dropping the basket in before shutting it behind him.

"She won't bite," John furrows his brows.

"She will... trust me," Moriarty whispers before peaking in. "Hey, N/n, did you want to watch Howl's moving castle?" He asks sweetly, slipping in with a tinge of fear as his voice muffles.

"Captain," Seb nods. "Report,"

"These two idiots said things they shouldn't have and Y/n heard it all, Colonel," John glares to Mycroft, still talking to Sebastian, "so, I'd recommend keeping Moriarty under close watch to prevent a murder,"

~~~

"God, I hate everything," you sob into his Westwood. "He really never cared,"

Jim hugs back, awkwardly trying to save his suit as well as comfort you. "Hey, listen, just say the word and you'll never see him again,"

"I don't want to see him ever again," you chuckle, "but I don't want him gone,"

Jim widens his eyes and quickly cancels the orders he just sent, turning his phone off in a small panic. "Care to explain?" He pulls back and looks at you. "I never understood this stuff, and now I'm just utterly confused,"

"I don't want to see him but I still want to be around him,"

"Either this is some weird emotional human code or you're not making any sense," his thumbs wipe your tears away. "Start making sense,"

"I hate being surrounded by emotionally detached people," you frown, wiping the tears away yourself and standing up. "I still love him, Jim,"

"I would say 'not on my watch', but I feel like this is not the time," he stands up. "So, why not just tell him?"

"Because he doesn't feel the same! He would let Mycroft use me to get to you instead of-!"

"He... what?" Moriarty slips a hand into his pocket for his phone only for you to hold it up. "Give that back,"

"Kill Sherlock and I'll tell Grandma,"

"Boo," he walks around your room and fiddles with the trinkets. "So what can I do?"

"Nothing. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do. So, why try?" Tossing the phone back, you feel footsteps thumping from the stairwell. Lestrade- and then two more pairs of footsteps.

"Greg Lestrade and those two mindless idiots who work for him," Jim quips before you.

"Donovan and Anderson," you roll your eyes, "you should go, but thank you for trying to cheer me up- wait... how did you know I was-"

"Mycroft's umbrella is so easy to bug," your cousin shrugs making you laugh, hugging him tightly. "Alright, alright, that's enough," he cringes with a smile, ruffling your hair. "Say bye to Seb,"

"Will you propose soon?" You hold the door handle with a smug grin, eyeing the ring in his pocket.

"Say a word and I'll skin you alive," he nudges you out the way, your laugh being heard by everyone. "All better!"

"And no one dead, thank god," John sighs out as Seb shakes his head with a smile.

"You weren't kidding," Lestrade reaches for his gun as Donovan does as well, Anderson hiding behind her. "How are you related to... him?"

"First cousins," you roll your eye, embracing Sebastian who hums in agreement.

"A family of psychos!"

"You should meet the rest of our family, I'm the one out of place," you reply to Donovan.

"Except our third cousins, they're too positive, it's sickening," Jim rolls his eyes in disgust.

"Uncle Leonard's family are the same," you add on, glancing at the case and looking to Jim, one glance up and down, you write the solution along a spare piece of paper and crumpling it up for Sherlock to catch.

"I knew you were a freak," Sally sneers loathsomely, jumping when Jim twists to face her.

"Careful what you say to my cousin, she's the only reason any of you are still alive," a knife was pulled out from his suit jacket making everyone react to either save themselves or stop any bleeding... onto the carpet; for Mrs H's sake.

"Alright, get out of here," you grab his collar and drag him away as if he was a seething cat. "Have fun at dinner tonight boys," you watch Jim being guided away by Sebastian. "I better be the maid of honour," this last whisper was given when you slam the flat door shut.

"I'm sorry, did you just say-" Mycroft tries to advance to you but John stops him.

"If you ruin their special day, then my actions will not seem out of character considering who my family is," you sigh out, looking to the group of bewildered and slightly frightened individuals. "Why are you three here exactly? Greg is fine but shouldn't you two be busy mauling each other's faces off?"

"We're here from a scene and they didn't want Sherlock involved in the case," Greg informs.

"Because he is an amateur,"

"An amateur who has solved more cases than original insults you can think of," these words left a fair few snickering, in fact all but Donovan. "Try not to let your jealousy take over judgement, Susan,"

"It's Sally,"

"And here," you hold your palm out, "are all the fucks I give," the held out hand turns to point to the exit. "The door is there,"

"Whatever," she leaves, bumping shoulder with you as Anderson follows.

"Oh! And if you ever speak a word of this to anyone, hint at it, allude to any sort of correlation between my cousin and I... remember that he is a single phone call away," slamming the door in their face, you look at the four men left. "The case, get on it with it, and if you need me, find someone else,"

~~~

This entire book is a mess

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