Blossom 🌸

FIFTY ONE 🌸

"Oh." Another awkward silence. "Okay... I guess...uh... I'll see you both at breakfast." I hung up the phone and tossed it aside, that was excruciating.

"Yeah, they think we hooked up." He pulled the blanket higher over his face without a care in the world.

My stomach was doing flips, I should prove to them I still have my hymen. I should book in with a gynaecologist so everyone knows that my innocence is still in tact. They could call Janet, notify my father. What have I done?

He poked his head out of the blanket and rolled his eyes at my procrastination.

"Blossom will you chill? Even if we did hook up they know that's non of their business. They wouldn't get involved. My parents, they always made sure I knew that my body is my body. Who and how many people I hook up with is my choice and my business only. As long as I know how important consent and contraception is, they're good."

I pulled the sleeves of my T-shirt over my hand to shield from the crisp, cool springtime air. My lip tugged between my teeth. I had the dreaded body count question on my mind but it was too personal and invasive to ask, right?

"Whatever it is, just ask."

"So, who and how many?" He smirked at me and I instantly knew he wasn't going to tell me. Not because it was invasive and personal but because he wanted me to dwell. But honestly, did it matter?

"Like I said, my business only." Dick.

But I at least wanted to know how involved he was with Carlton. I've seen them kiss, they're close. Something is going on between them and I'm not comfortable with him sleeping in my bed if he's romantically involved.

"Okay, but what if this gets around? Won't it cause problems for you if, you know, people think something happened between us?" He pushed the covers off himself completely and sat up against the wooden headboard. He rubbed his whole face and then shook his head.

"No Blossom." My brows furrowed. "We're not doing those cryptic questions anymore. What are you really asking me?"

"Are you... like I mean... have you... do you... are you involved romantically with Carlton or ... anyone else?" He shot me a toothy grin, unusual for him.

"For a minute there I thought we'd never get there." He laughed. "No I'm not. I'm not involved with anyone. I'm a strictly a monogamous type of guy.

We've kissed a few times but we're not dating, yet. If we were I wouldn't kiss anyone else, like you. I've been trying out this mantra where kissing is as far as I'm willing to go unless I'm in a committed relationship with someone."

I snorted and he raised his eyebrows at me in surprise. "You're a player." I accused, dismissing the bullshit he just fed me because I've heard about his 'casual hookups' and seen how much he flirted, plus much to my dismay he accepted a drunken hand-blow job from me without much fight.

"A player?" He laughed, but not genuinely. I think deep down he was hurt by my accusation. "I think you've put me off being sexual with anyone for life." My face dropped. "Not 'cause you were bad because you were amazing but because you were drunk and I should've realised. I don't want to do this fuck buddy bullshit, if I can help it."

"Okay." He flirts with anything that has a pulse. He's always dancing for people and taking his clothes off. There's no way he'll last out without casual hook ups, it's who he is. What he does.

"Why does it sound like you don't believe me? I have no reason to lie. I can't say I haven't had my fair share of hook ups but consciously I'm making an effort to be extra cautious when it comes to sexual relationships, I want feelings and commitments or trust, or something."

"I'm sure you'll have that one day." I smiled sadly, knowing that it would never be me, no matter how much I wanted it to be.

"Yeah, in the mean time though I'm good." He smirked at me in that sexy way he does. Butterflies rumbled in the emptiness of my belly. "I can just look at that picture you sent me." He gestured a jerking off action against his crotch and then made his hands explode like a firework. I could feel the blood inside my cheeks bubbling to a burn.

"Delete it." His smirk grew wider.

"Never! Send me another. I've used it many times, actually I've used it so many times it's almost a violation. You're so hot, I don't even think you realise how sexy you are."

His compliment knocked the wind right out of my chest and he didn't even notice. He said it so casually and then climbed out of bed and stretched.

Nobody has ever called me 'hot' or 'sexy' before. I mean sure, most girls want to be called beautiful but I'm someone who has only ever been called ugly, repeatedly. But beyond that - I'm someone who constantly feels ugly. Even in that picture when I was trying to be hot I still felt far from sexy.

Arlo found me attractive. Not just attractive but sexually attractive. Hot. He thinks I'm hot. He called me sexy and now he was carrying on like the world didn't just stop on it's axis. What exactly is sexy though? All I see is a pale, freckly ginger. Underweight. Broken. Unwanted.

Stop.

Why was I trying to talk myself out of his compliments?

He thinks I'm hot.
Arlo freakin' peers thinks I'm sexy.

"And, are we gonna acknowledge the pictures I sent to you or just ignore them like they didn't happen?" He questioned, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I was gonna pretend they didn't happen." I admitted, feeling shy because I looked at those pictures a lot and I felt like he could read the dirty thoughts in my mind.

"Okay. Good. Yeah." He said, seemingly a little embarrassed himself. "Cause, you know I was manic when I sent them?" I nodded. "Good thing I only sent them to you." He laughed awkwardly. "They're probably not gonna be the last ones I send you either unfortunately, I love to take my clothes when I'm manic for some reason."

"Oh." I muttered, not knowing what else to say.

"I know, I cringe too. It's okay. If you haven't deleted them yet ... keep them safe, yeah?"

"Yeah, I will." He smirked, did I just admit to not deleting them?

Oh god.

"I'm gonna get breakfast before I pump my body full of drugs and no longer feel hungry. What are you doing, you're like spacey?"

"What? Nothing. What?" He laughed.

"You tripping, do I need to share my meds?" I shook my head. "I'll see you later Blossom, it's mountain climbing today. Bring a jacket, it's colder up the mountains than it is down here." I nodded silently, unable to speak. He chuckled at me again and shook his head. "You're being weird. See you later."

As soon as he left I flung myself down on my bed and thrust my arms and legs around like a loon. I failed to contain my smile. He made me elated. He thinks I'm sexy.