For The Love Of A Captain Book 2

Hesitations

Steve stepped outside to clear his head and I decided to give him some space. I could only imagine what he was going through right now and I didn't want to intrude. I stood over the table looking over everything again, trying to gather my thoughts as well when someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned to see Nat standing there, looking at me with concern on her face.

"You ok?" she asked, walking over to me.

"Yeah, just stressed," I replied. I sat down in one of the chairs and put my head in my hands. 

"This isn't just about the mission is it?" Nat asked sitting in another of the chairs and turning it to look at me. I looked up at her.

"I'm worried about him," I said, gesturing toward the door. "I've never seen him like that. I know how close he and Bucky were, he talks about his memories of Bucky all the time. I mean they've been friends since they were little kids. I just wish I knew exactly what was going on in his head. I'm just afraid that something is going to happen to him on this mission because of the whole thing with Bucky. When that mask came off and he recognized him, it shook him Nat. I've never seen him this rattled before." Nat listened as I explained, letting me get all of my concerns out in the air. When I had finally said everything, she sat back.

"Alia, I can't even imagine what either of you are going through," she started softly. "The whole situation with Steve is strange to begin with because of his past. I can completely understand that. And I know that you will be there to support him, there's no doubt in my mind about that. It's not going to be easy, but you guys will get through this. You guys are two of the strongest people I know and if anyone can get through this, you guys can, but you have to do it together. And don't worry so much about the mission. Steve knows what he is doing. He's not going to put himself in unnecessary danger. Especially not with the plans he has." I looked up at her as she finished.

"What do you mean? What plans?" I asked. She wasn't making any sense. Steve didn't have any plans that I knew of.

"The trip you two are going to take?" she reminded me. "He has been planning it for a while. Don't ask, because I don't know anything other than he has plans." I nodded.

"I just hope he's going to be ok with all of this," I muttered to myself. Nat put a hand on mine and squeezed softly.

"You guys will be ok," she repeated. "Now, let's get going. We have a secret organization to bring down."

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Steve POV

My mind was still reeling with everything that had happened today. Fighting the Winter Soldier, Alia getting shot and then finding out that the Winter Soldier was Bucky; my best friend, the closest thing I had to a brother. I didn't know how to process it. I had grieved his death a long time ago and even though it still hurt me, I at least had my memories of him. And now I knew he was alive. I had a flashback to the day my mom died.

I had just arrived back at my apartment after the funeral and I was torn apart. Ma was gone now and I had nobody. I wasn't sure how things were going to go from here and how I was going to make things work, but I was determined.

"There you are," I heard a voice say. I turned and saw Bucky standing at the street. He walked over to me and clapped a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and began to climb the stairs to my apartment. "We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just kind of wanted to be alone," I replied quietly. He followed me up the stairs. 

"How was it?" he asked.