Your Grace - Burak Çelik

CHAPTER 43

Ozge furrowed her brow; "Is this because of your depressive episode?" she asked softly. "Or...could it be about Burak?" Ayedah's hands stiffened slightly as she inserted the last pin through the fabric of her scarf to keep it in place; she did not answer Ozge as she draped the cloth around her neckline and across her shoulders. "Ayedah, answer me," ordered Ozge in a firm voice. "Is this about Burak?"

"I don't know, alright?" said Ayedah. "It's been a little more than a week since I've seen or talked to him...a week since I stayed at his house." "And about five days until you're supposed to get married," whispered Ozge so Ayedah would not hear her and get herself anxious about the topic. "You know, the boys are going to be at his house to watch the finale together?"

"That's nice," said Ayedah dryly. "I'm glad he'll have company." "And you should too," said Ozge. "Come on, now, just because you're having a tough time with your boyfriend doesn't mean you should lie around and eat ice cream all day." "Well, he's a little more than my boyfriend, Ozge," muttered Ayedah, going slightly pink. "And I don't think I've touched ice cream anytime recently, not since I got discharged." "I'm just using it as an expression," shrugged Ozge skittishly. "Just...I'd rather you attend a real party than a pity party- you'll be doing that if you mope around whilst you wait for him. And you've already worked so hard to pull yourself from your depressive episode, plus you've battled just as hard against the exhaustion from the lithium and antidepressants." Ayedah wrinkled her nose; "Perhaps," she murmured as she processed her friend's words. "I know I mustered enough energy today, Ozge, but I still feel...tired. Otherwise I'd probably love to go with you...but again, I'm tired. And I just feel that I'll be a damper on the atmosphere."

Ozge sighed again; she walked over to Ayedah and knelt on the ground in front of her friend's chair, placing a hand on her knee. "Ayedah, you know you can do this," she said encouragingly. "You're better than this. When you fell out with your family, you didn't spend days locked up in your room crying over it and doing nothing- you continued doing what you loved doing despite how much you didn't feel like it. Don't start moping now because of Burak- I know you feel very deeply for him, and I know you love him, but what happened between the both of you isn't worth drowning yourself over, especially you."

Ayedah inhaled sharply; she was about to say something relating to what Ozge said about loving Burak, but her friend stopped her before anything could even escape her lips. "I'm not even going to go into the topic of your dilemma about 'loving' Burak, at present, though you really should get that sorted in your pretty head," she quipped with a short laugh, making Ayedah snort softly. "Look, I'm not forcing you to come out with me tonight if you are genuinely tired. And it is okay, to not be okay...and it's okay to fall apart a little. But the thing is- you worked hard on this finale, on the whole season in fact- you deserve to celebrate it. I can assure you that's the biggest reason why I want you to come with us."

When Ayedah did not say anything, Ozge continued; "Again, I'm not going to force you to come with me to Gozel's house," she continued. "But at least try not to stay here in the house, especially your bedroom, and in your bed. The last thing I want is for you to mope, especially after you just barely escaped a depressive episode. Go out, take your laptop or notebook and write at a cafe somewhere maybe after your appointment, if you're not going to come with me. Or go for a walk in the park. Maybe even get lost in a bookstore, and spend however much you want on something that'll make you happy. Just...do something for yourself. Take care of yourself. Let yourself be happy. Isn't that what you told me Burak taught you? Despite whatever happens in your life, no matter who you fall out with, you should let yourself be happy? And didn't you tell him the same thing?"

Ayedah looked at Ozge for a while, whilst she allowed her friend's words to truly sink into her heart- a heart which she once believed had been shattered beyond repair. She allowed a small smile to curve up the edges of her heart-shaped lips, and patted Ozge's hand. "You're right, I guess," she said in a playfully grudging voice, making Ozge smirk. "I suppose I should listen to my own advice, ha. You're right, I can be better than this. I'm sorry." Ozge shook her head; "Don't be sorry," she chuckled. "It's okay." Ayedah nodded. "And you're right about celebrating the finale," she added, making Ozge grin. "I do think I deserve to be glad about it. So okay, fine. I'll go with you. Sorry for being difficult."