Saving Steve (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter 27 - I'm Sorry

"Y/n..."

Your name falls once more from his lips, whispered in gentle reverie as Steve's face contorts into an expression of worry, relief, and fear all at once.

"Y/n I...I don't know what to do," he says quietly. Defeated.

Your brow furrows at the tone in Steve's voice. You've never heard him sound so helpless before. And the last traces of anger you've held onto so tightly from earlier in the morning vanish, replaced by concern.

"About what?" you ask breathlessly.

"About you."

You shake your head, confused, not understanding. 

"I don't understand," you say quietly. 

Steve takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he looks away from you and down at the ground. His jaw tenses, and he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them and looking back at you.

"We can talk in the morning," he mutters, letting the fingers that hover near your ear fall softly onto your cheek. "But right now I...I want to hold you, Y/n," Steve pleads, taking a step closer, bringing you nearly chest to chest. 

But you tense, and step back. Those guarded walls you had become so good at putting into place over the years suddenly start constructing themselves once more as Steve's touch conjures remembrances of how cold he had left you.

Steve stops himself from moving forward at your slight pull back, but he doesn't lower the hand still resting gently on your face. 

"Please," he whispers, his thumb making small, gentle circles on your cheek. "I know I don't deserve to after leaving you alone this morning, but I..I need to hold you."

Your heart stumbles as an indescribable warmth rises in your chest. One nearly warm enough to melt the icy walls you've thrown up in a hurry at his touch.

"You said I was a mistake," you whisper, voice breaking. 

Steve inhales sharply. "No, no not you. Never you. Me. I made the mistake."

Your heart turns to lead as he speaks. 

"So, you regret it?" you ask, voice wavering. 

"Yes," Steve answers. 

You take a step back in shock and humiliation. Steve's words feel like a slap in the face. All the vulnerability you had shown him, all the courage it had taken you to share your heart and your body with someone else again - it was for nothing. 

Steve follows you as you back up towards the desk. 

"Stop," you whimper, a quiet sob slipping out as you hold up a hand, willing him to stop his approach. 

Steve freezes in place, his gaze never leaving you.

"I trusted you," you whimper. "W-we trusted each other. You...you even gave me-"

You choke on your own words as tears start to fall silently, your hand reaching for the tags around your neck.

Maybe Bucky was right. 

Maybe you shouldn't be wearing them. 

You try to pull them off, desperate to get the feel of them off your chest. But before you can a warm hand catches yours. 

"Wait," Steve says, taking your hand in his gently. But you push him back angrily. Forcefully. Old fight or flight instincts beginning to kick in as Steve tries to speak.

"Get off me," you sob, tearing your wrist from Steve's hand, furious that he would play with you like this.

"Y/n, wait, please-"