ℓαвуяιηтнє

Farewell

James was in Year Three, his brother in Year Five when the world around him crumbled down. He became different. In a year, the boy I used to think I knew was gone. He became selfish, competitive, and unimaginably stubborn. He became defensive at jokes and angry at teasing. As an Asian student in a white school was already hard, even harder, when you fit every mold of the Asian stereotype. He couldn't break out, not when he was so fragile. I was young, too, at the time. I couldn't understand that it was merely his attempt to facade the broken shards of his dignity. So I stopped playing with him. We barely talked for a year, our most prolonged hiatus since we met.

It wasn't until a year later that I finally approached him again. That day, I walked home. He and I were neighbors. I didn't see him often. I would usually stay at school later at the library with my friends. He didn't have many friends, significantly after he changed, so he always went home early. That day, I saw him. He stood at the slightly ajar door, tears streaming down his face, his brother defending him from the side, his mother on top of him as if trying to gobble him alive.

Grades. Of course, that's what it was about. James' grades were about a constant decline. It wasn't much, one or two percent decline in every test. After the year, his grades dropped completely. No one knew why except me. How could someone who was bullied and excluded from the rest of the year earn high scores? How could someone that couldn't even listen to a class in peace be supposed get full marks?

I ran over and pulled him behind me. I felt him trying to push me away, but it only made me grab onto him tighter. I was more potent and taller than him at the time, and he didn't stand a chance against me.

However, I overlooked Harry's worry. I overlooked James' hatred. I overlooked the change in everything. It didn't matter back then. I didn't understand the complexity of everything. All I knew was that likewise, we were friends again. Everything was good- Until the crash that tore his family apart.

That crash shattered everything, everything good in his life dimmed. It was like- It was like lights out.

I thought he was never going to walk out of it again. If he was, not the same way to say the least.

That was all until she came into his life. I knew him too well. He couldn't hide the small sparks of excitement that shone as soon as he saw her. He couldn't hide the small garbling and stuttering as he tried to phrase his sentences. Nor could he hide his heartbeat which I could always hear.

For a moment, I thought, 'perhaps he could be saved'. He began to smile again. He began to tease him. He began to talk and chat openly about the deepest topics. It was as if he finally found himself again.

Today, she walked out of his life too. All I wonder is if he will close himself again. I won't blame him if he does, however, I wish more than anything that he will stay the same and that he will stay strong and he will never be broken again.

Kun

"Kun?" He snapped him out of his writing.

"Yes?" Kun's voice was filled with anxiety. He desperately wanted to know how he felt, what he wanted to say, his every thought. But he did his best to hide it.

"Don't leave," he told him quietly, almost like a whisper. Having grown up with male standards, Kun has never heard him utter those words. It was almost like committing a sin.

"I won't," Kun replied, following after him.

Kun was taller than him and as his best friend likes to say 'only by six centimeters', 'only by six centimeters.'

We reached his dorm in silence. Slowly, he opened his door as if scared that something was to break. No one else would have noticed the sparkles in his watery eyes, no one else could've seen his constant gulping, and no one else would have noticed his attempts to bury his scars. And, he closed the door.

Kun didn't leave. Kun slid down, his back to the wall. And he waited. It was the most and the least he could do. He waited. He waited. He waited. It was serene. As the winds blew by, the peace was the most melancholic melody that has ever sounded in his ears.

The door opened again, and a thousand words ran through Kun's head. 'I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this.' 'It will be okay, I promise. Trust me. Things will be back to normal.' A thousand words of comfort were crushed at that last word. Normal? When have things ever been normal? When had life ever been normal for James? Kun forced himself to stop thinking.

James' eyes were red and puffy, but as they turned to look at Kun, there were no more tears. "Kun," He asked, "Do you know why I never believed in God?"

"Why?" Kun tilted his head, his feet shuffling under him. He may have sounded more patient than he felt. As curious as he was, he was more worried about how he felt after everything that had happened.

"It's not that I can't accept God. I just can't accept the world he had created. Even more, I can't promise to abide by it. I can't promise to accept the reality that he continuously throws at my feet.

But I do believe in heaven, I believe in hell, and I believe in sins. Mostly, I believe that we should repent and pay for our mistakes.

However, I can only accept those things because they are my choices. I can only accept those mistakes when I know I have no destiny."

Kun couldn't help but frown and asked, "do you accept your reality? Do you accept your mistake? Do you really think that all of these things that has crushed your life your fault?"

James looked up at me and nodded, "Yeah. I do. I made a mistake, as did Harry, as did Juliet, as did May. And we are all repenting and paying for it."

Kun knew he shouldn't pry but he had to know. "Do you think it's his fault? Do you think he should be blamed for the- the incident?" He regretted asking as soon as he saw James' expression.

"No. Do you blame your papercut on the wood? It's not my place to blame."

As James stood before Kun, Kun knew there was nothing he needed to say. He wrapped his arms around him and patted his back. He was James' best friend and that was never going to change. Kun wanted him to know that. Kun wanted him to know that no matter how many years of turmoil they go through, they will always stay together.

He watched as the last glimpse of the sun disappeared behind the mountains, the last glimpse of light vanished into the darkness of night, the last glimpse of warmth disappeared into the chilliness of winter.

However, I was not afraid because I knew that the sun would always rise.

There was something special about waiting.

"Come on, there's some self-heating hotpot in my room. It's not too late to make some?"

"Is it spicy or not spicy?"

"Extra hot for this extra hot day."

A/N

Welcome to Labyrinthe! How did everyone like this chapter?

The first chapter is kind of confusing but I promise that everything clears up!

If you liked it, please vote or comment! If you didn't, please vote or comment! hehe

- Grace <3