I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 62

Zayn and Calum managed to drag Liam back inside and pushed him down into a chair, making sure to keep a watchful eye over him in case he tried to hurt himself again. Niall curled up on the floor in front of Liam's legs, his head resting on the older boy's knees as he snacked on a bag of Maltesers. Liam didn't move for a long time, several hours at least but no one was counting, and while he was staring blankly at the wall, Michael arrived with his backpack, along with a few things that Niall had requested he pick up from Liam and Harry's apartment. He gave all of the boys a hug, spending an extra long time as he squeezed Niall tight, and then sat down on the floor next to the blonde to continue the waiting game.

At around four o'clock, the doctor came back into the waiting room once more, this time with the ghost of a smile on her face. Liam seemed to wake up from his state of shock and walked over to the woman, his hands deep in his pockets as he looked at her with his sad, puppy-dog eyes. "Good news." She said, addressing the whole group. "Your brother is out of surgery and he is now recovering in a room in the ICU. He's still unconscious, and will probably be for a while, but you may visit him one at a time now." Liam gasped and before he even thought about it, he was pulling the doctor into a tight bear-hug. "Thank you so much, doctor, thank you." He pulled away and wiped at the tears on his cheeks, his heart soaring at the news. "Don't thank me yet. He still has a long way to go before he's okay. Come on, let me show you to his room." Liam let the doctor place a hand on his back and she led him down a sterile hallway. They stopped in front of a door that read 'Head Injury Patient: Keep volume down' and the doctor pushed it open, revealing a bright white room filled with beeping machines and tacky furniture.

"I'll be right outside if you need anything," The doctor said to Liam softly before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Liam nodded and turned, looking at the large bed in the middle of the room for the first time. He came a little closer, expecting to find his Harry laying there, but it wasn't his Harry. The person lying in the bed was small and frail-looking. His skin was grey and practically translucent, his lips were blue, and he had a large bandage wrapped around his head. Though the boy's head was covered by the bandage, Liam could tell that his beautiful locks had been shaved off. A sob erupted from the older boy's mouth and he collapsed in a chair next to the bed, his hand reaching unsurely for the younger boy's. Another whimper escaped from his lips when he saw his mum's engagement ring sitting on the boy's finger, almost falling off with how loose it was.

"Oh, Haz. Please, I need you to stay alive. Just hang on, please. I need you. Louis needs you. All of us need you. Please, Harry, you're the glue that holds us all together. I can't go on without you. Please," Liam whispered, holding Harry's seemingly breakable hand up to his lips to kiss it. He held his hand there, pressed against his lips as he tried to give life back to the boy on the bed. The warmth of his lips countered with the coolness of Harry's hand and Liam wanted to cry when he felt Harry's weak pulse against his wrist. "Harry," He whimpered as he began to sob for the hundredth time that day. How he had any tears left, no one knew, but his body was slowly becoming weak with the exhaustion of it. He felt his eyelids drooping as he watched sleepily over the boy, his tears sliding down onto his face and landing on Harry's hand, which was still pressed to his mouth.

Liam sat with the boy for almost three hours straight, drifting in and out of consciousness but never fully falling asleep. He couldn't, not when anything could happen with Harry at any moment. He needed to stay awake, alert in case something new arose. His attention was taken from the boy when a knock was heard at the door. "Come in," He managed to croak out, his throat dry and voice cracking from tiredness. The door opened and Niall came in, not even glancing at the boy on the bed as he came over to Liam. He couldn't handle looking at the boy, not now. "Come on, Li, let's go home and get some clothes for tonight." Liam shook his head and refused to take Niall's outstretched hand. "No, I need to stay with him. What if he wakes up while I'm gone and he freaks out because I'm not there? What if he d-dies?" Niall wrapped an arm around Liam and managed to tug the boy to his feet but the movement stopped there.