I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 43

Louis waited patiently, tears in his eyes, as Liam looked back and forth between him and Harry. He was praying so hard that Liam would give them his blessing and not throw him out that door. Liam took a deep breath and then tugged Louis up to his feet, stepping back so he could see both of them. Harry was still sitting in the bed, his blanket pulled up to cover him from the waist down. His chest was still heaving from the intensity of everything that had happened in less than ten minutes. Louis loved him. That was the best thing that had happened to him in months. Even better than Louis getting him to cum for the first time. He was drawn from his thoughts when he heard Liam clear his throat, grabbing both boys' attention.

"Uhm, that was very nice, Louis. Y-You both know that this is hard for me. I-I don't want to think about you two together, at all, for any reason, and it feels really weird to see you, and him, doing things. I love both of you so much. Lou," He turned to the older boy. "You're my best friend, and I will always be there for you. I have been your wingman since we met. That's why it makes it hard for me to okay all of this. I know what you can be like. I know what happened when you dated Zayn. You fall in love too fast and I don't know if you mean it or not when you say you love him. I've seen you get hurt, I've seen you hurt yourself, and I've seen you hurt other people. I can't have you breaking Harry's heart. Because then you'd be hurting all of us."

Louis sighed and sat down on the bed, reaching for Harry's hand. Harry grasped his hand like it was the only thing keeping him from going under. That hand was his lifeline. "Haz, you mean everything to me." Liam turned to Harry, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed as he reached for his other hand. "You're my little brother. You're my responsibility. I'm supposed to take care of you, and never let you get hurt by anything. Louis is my best friend, and I know him better than anyone. And that means I know the best and the worst of him. The worst of him is pretty sucky, no offense, Lou." The older boy shrugged. "Babes, you need to understand that Louis is much older, and that means a completely different kind of relationship than you would have with other guys your age. I just need you to tell me that you know that a lot of baggage comes with Louis and that you are willing to deal with that."

The older boy kept his face straight, knowing that even though Liam's words were harsh, they were true. "I know, Liam. But he's all I want. All I ever want. I really love him, even though he's flawed, and I don't care what you think of us. He makes me so happy, makes me feel so safe. I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry we went behind your back, but he's what I want." Liam sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of Harry's hand. "I know, Harry. I love you, and I'm so glad that you're happy. But I need to know that this is what you want. Because I don't want to have to pick up the pieces if Louis breaks your heart. Tell me you're in totally and that you understand what you're getting yourself into."

Harry nodded and squeezed Liam's hand, giving him a reassuring look. "I am so ready, Liam. Louis and I have already been doing this for weeks, and we're going great. Liam, trust me when I say I know what I'm getting myself into." Harry leaned forward and kissed Liam's cheek, a few tears on his face from all the emotions he was feeling. "I love you, Haz. I'm not...I'm not happy with this arrangement, but I'm not going to separate you. Actually, I hate this. You're my little brother, I don't ever want to think about you with anyone. Especially not my best friend. Just, keep it away from me. I don't ever want to see you guys doing stuff. That means no cuddles, no kissing, not even hugs in front of me. The thought of you two together makes me want to throw up violently. Louis, you better take care of him. And no sex until Harry is eighteen. I mean it. You boys need to keep it in your fucking pants. Now, please, go put some fucking pants on, Harry. Louis, get out."

Louis nodded and followed Liam out of the room, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "I'm still fucking pissed at you, you know?" Liam said, pointing a finger at the older boy. Louis ducked his head down. "Do you know what I felt when I walked into Harry's room and saw that going on? I felt the purest, most unfiltered rage I have ever felt in my life. My stomach burned with so much anger that I thought I had gotten an ulcer. I really hate you right now." There was another moment of silence before Louis looked back up at the younger boy. "I know. I'm the worst. But that was all Harry's idea. He wanted to do that. I just...aided him in what he wanted to do." Liam's face twisted up into a grimace and he gagged.