Flaming Hearts ~ Hearts On Fire ~ Book4 [DISCONTINUED] {OLDER VERSION}

CH3 - Fate Has It's Ways - Part2

"HIEI WAIT!" Ruby called out to him in alarm and concern. "Your wound could-!" Her professional healer was talking out of her again, but she eventually cut herself off fast with a sigh of defeat. "Why do I even try. . . ?" All the while I just I silently agree with her since I also know how the Almighty Shadow Lord can be so difficult most of the time. . . reminding me of the old time we used to spend together. . .

"Hn." Was all I managed to answer while I let out a deep exhale, and cross my arms over my chest, closing my eyes for a moment and look up at the spot where his frame stood once. I felt awful for not being able to look at him straight in the eye properly for a while since I tried to focus on my stupid anxiety, I had a moment ago with the water there.

I needed to heal him, and I would do it within a heartbeat. . . however. . .

'Enough!' I shouted at myself mentally as I violently shook my head and grabbed a firm hold of my reality by entangling my fingers between my long white locks that I would pull on to keep myself grounded in the real world. 'This is not the same! ' I try to convince myself as I try to clear up my mind from the thoughts about the darker side of my abilities. . . . 

One. . . two. . . then three. . . I let out that breath from my system as I felt my heart's rate began to drop to its normal level, my nerves eventually calming down. . .

Now I am able to think clearly for the next long round. . . as long as I don't let those dark thoughts and memories get to me and try to poison me again. . .

"Miyuki?" Ruby's voice snapped me back to my timeline, along with her hand that I now see was placed onto my shoulder. "Are you feeling, okay?" In reply I sighed once again and nodded my head.

"Let's go back." I suggested fast, and began to go toward the temple, but I paused on my tracks because a hand is now holding me back. I turn my head to look over my shoulder and of course, that hand belonged to my Water-Bender friend and her concerns about me. . .

"You know you don't have to do things alone, right?" She asked me with the gentlest voice I had ever hear coming from her lips. "I'm here if you need to talk. . ." Again, all I was able to do was stay silent while my body and mind was acting out of habit. I bit my lip to keep myself shut while I look away so I can avoid eye contact. . .

It's been a while since I had moved temporarily to the temple, yet I can still see no improvement in my behaviour or anything that would tell me that I am somewhat changing. Even though I am aware that things won't be easy, that it will take a long time like learning the elements, or how to harness the Phoenix's powers while taming it, making her recognize me as her new wielder. . . still I wish I am able to just, get over it all once and for all. . .

Be done so I can finally be the person I was meant to be. . . be whole. . .

But in these past weeks or so, all I was able to do is train my ass off, get all my energy and emotions out to the point that my body would collapse, do schoolwork so my brain can be distracted, and be able to think on more logical things, and whenever I sleep or meditate, in each time I try to close my eyes, I am still able to see those painful images from par moth's mission, most of them being me using my powers to hurt the person I love and care about. . .

Again. . . all I was able to see were those ugly parts of my reflection. . . the ugly pieces that I would gladly get rid of. . . but. . .