Shawn
"Marlon, I can't stay up like this anymore something has to change . It's 4:41 AM in the morning, you have it easy over there ." I said wanting to hang up the phone
"New York changed your ass real quick, you can't hang anymore ."
"It's not just the time change, I just been really tired lately I don't have energy to function . Between my mom pushing me out the door everyday to find a job and pick a school I want to go to I'm tired, these people up here don't play if you - if you ." I yawned "If you don't keep up with them you'll just fall behind, I'm still getting used to things around here ."
"I'll just call you a bit earlier than, listen I was wondering when you were coming back to LA because I'm graduating next week and it would be cool if you came ."
"I think I can make that happen, I don't know what it's looking like I have to see . Maybe when I graduate you can come to mine ." I smiled
"How about you actually get into a school first before thinking about graduating, if you can even do that ."
I sighed "I don't feel good, I'm tired, call me later ."
Marlon always, always, always has to say something that ruins the whole conversation . I can't continue to talk on the phone when he does that, besides already being tired he brings my mood down . I don't know what we are towards each other, whether we're friends with benefits, testing the waters, or in a long distance relationship but we had phone sex the other night . It's the only thing we have that gives us that emotional connection, I would rather have him beside me but I'll take what I can get . I want to see him so badly and talk about everything between us, I want to share my fears, my cares, and wants with him . Mostly I want to see a change in him, I want him to see the change in me .
"Shawn, get your ass up what have you been doing all day ?" my mom said busting in my room
"Ma, I'm tired . I walked all around this city looking for a job, it's not going to come the next day this takes time ." I said turning my head away from her
She sighed "I just want to make sure you're doing something with yourself ."
"Ma do you think we'll be coming back to California next week ?"
"No, why ?"
I sighed "Nothing, never mind ."
"No why ?"
I sat up from the bed "Marlon is graduating and I want to see him, but I can't make out up there ."
She stared me down and buttoned her lips "Don't make me regret this shit, I'll pay for your tickets this one time but I'm not doing it again just so you can see some boy . But he's important to you and I'm not going back for another 3 months so you can slide this one time ."
My heart stopped for a minute when she said that, never thought she would do something like this for me . "For real ? You serious ?"
"You just better follow through on getting a job and don't slip up while your down there ."
I was so excited that night, I stayed up through the night anticipating his call .
"You talk to your moms about if you coming up by next week ?"
"Yeah, but we not coming back till 3 months from now . I really wanted to be there too .". I said putting on a sad voice
"Don't stress over it ."
