Ciel [Yoonmin]

28.

It was inevitable. He had unconsciously been wanting some sort of affection that didn't involve sex. Just human touch.

"Just five minutes. I just need to hug you for five minutes. I can deal with the loneliness during the day, but I can't handle it at night."

Yoongi didn't hug him back even though he wanted to. All these new mixed emotions were very confusing. His body was very tense upon feeling Jimin's tinier frame and very slowly he relaxed.

"I've been so cold Yoongi. You're so warm." He whispered with sad tears.

Yoongi felt a lump in his throat form. He couldn't remember the last time he had been hugged by someone.

Jimin stood there for minutes until his hands were tired from gripping him so tight. He let go and looked for any signs of discomfort on his face.

Yoongi's expression was blank like usual. It was very hard to tell what he felt or thought. Unlike Jimin who's emotions were transparent.

He turned around and headed back to the floor spot he was originally sitting. He looked out the window as the storm got stronger. The trees were shaking violently from the wind and lighting illuminating the sky.

"Yoongi, why do you hate me?" He asked pressing his forehead against the cold glass. "Am I really that shallow?" He added as tears spilled from his eyes.

The rain was so loud that his soft weeps were lost in the weather. Yoongi took a deep breath and lost his composure. He had been fighting it for so long that he gave in slowly approaching him.

Yoongi stood next to him and reached down to softly pat his head. "I don't hate you, brat. I've never hated you."

Jimin quickly straightened up when he felt his hand on his head. He looked up at him and finally saw a glimpse of sadness.

"Can I tell you my story?" He asked with his eyes big and full of tears.

Yoongi sat next to him and nodded. They were only a few inches away. Jimin wiped his tears with the back of his hands.

"I was in love once. I met him in high school and dated several years after. I guess I've always been love deprived. I grew up without my father who abandoned us. My mom gave me all the love she could, but I think deep down I needed more. The place I grew up in was very poor. I don't think I remember eating meat until I was old enough to work and pay for it. My boyfriend at the time was very supportive of me and my dreams. Though I truly believe he's my soulmate we had a major difference. Can you guess what that is?" He asked turning his face towards Yoongi.

"Money."

He chuckled at his misery, "Yeah. I always wanted more. Whereas my lover was content with our lifestyle. I don't know, maybe I am an awful person for wanting money and power. Maybe I am a monster for wishing to have it all. You know what though? None of the things I've gotten have come easy to me. Do you think I like sleeping with multiple men? Every time I do, I feel myself growing emptier. It's not easy putting my body through the things I do. I don't always enjoy sex with clients. I have to endure the nasty comments, the weird kinks, the forced orgasms, the bruises, the degradation. It's not fun, okay? I think I deserve the fucking Lamborghini. I deserve the fucking diamond bracelet because I lost everything due to this."

Yoongi watched him fall apart to pieces. The pain in his voice was hard to listen to. It physically made his heart clench.

"You don't have to tell me this. I don't deserve to know." He said embarrassed at himself. Remembering the awful things he said to him made him feel like shit.

"I want to tell you. I've never told anyone none of this. I've been carrying this weight around for three years and it gets harder everyday."

Yoongi nodded understandingly. He wasn't physically touching him as a comfort method, but he was there next to him attentively listening. That's all Jimin really wanted.