gangster | levi x reader au

twenty one

You looked to Levi in hopes of something, anything. "Levi?"

His seemingly larger hand that hugged yours squeezed you tighter. Then he tilted his head almost unnoticeably, but you noticed it. And you let the reassurance slowly sink in, convincing yourself that you had done nothing wrong.

"Maybe I do only just want to fuck you," he muttered.

The reassurance disappeared at once. It was as if he had snapped his fingers and your anxieties came rushing back tenfold.

"What did you...just...say?" You words were broken by gasps as his kisses trailed back to your neck, his hand slowly lifting your shirt upwards.

"Shut up." Levi said, voice laced with venom and eyes that stared at yours dangerously. He was clicking his tongue, shaking his head, black hair shadowing the tops of his eyes. "Get on the bed."

"I'm confused, like what is-Levi!" You gasped when you were abruptly pushed onto his bed. "What is going on?"

He crawled to hover above you. "I already told you. I just want to fuck. I don't care about relationships."

He was lying but it was his own twisted way of dealing with emotions he wasn't used to feeling. If only Isabel had not spoken, then perhaps he wouldn't be trying to prove something to himself.

That something was commitment. Maybe worth?

As he kissed you once more, he thought to himself. He wondered if he was even worthy of being with you, having you here underneath him - you. A girl who was independent with and without him, who was able to hold her ground and fight if needed. A girl with goals in life, all easily attainable especially with your diligence. A girl with fire for every experience the universe threw at you.

And who was Levi? Nothing compared to you. A boy who had everything handed down to him yet still chose to be a menace. He had no set goals, little to no idea of the future. He was a boy who built bridges as he walked. A boy who didn't have to work hard to get what he wanted, and he wanted everything.

"Levi..." You whimpered, cheeks still inflamed.

He chose to ignore the crack in your voice. First it was feathered kisses on your jaw that found themselves on your cheek, all for you to be mind blown with the way he proceeded to kiss your lips.

Clothes were thrown away in the process. A worthwhile kiss meant that your pants were off, another meant that your shirt was halfway across the room. As confused and even as hurt as you were, you found yourself basking in all of what Levi was offering. Your fingers went to trace the bumps in his skin that were scars, then the dents of his muscles as he pants went down.

A long sigh ensued and Levi took no time to waste on your breasts. His wet mouth on one while he used his hand to play with the other, an index finger rubbing the nipple which made you stifle a moan.

"This... is all you want?" You managed to say between gasps and broken moans.

Levi gulped. The question dressed in your soft voice made him finally come to his senses. Then with a swift movement, he was no longer above you. He even covered your topless self with the blanket beneath.

"Fuck." He whispered.

The little voice in his head told him to apologize. For a second, he cursed at himself for even thinking about doing such a thing but then he remembered that he had probably hurt you, which was worse than saying sorry to anyone.

"(Y/N) I'm so-"

"Why are you so mean sometimes?"

He slowly turned his head to find a single tear escape from the corner of your eyes.

"You should just talk to me if you're upset." You told him with your gaze fixated on the ceiling. "Do you like me?"

"Yeah." Levi breathed heavily, fuck.

"Why did you say... what you said earlier."

As a man of few words this was difficult. He felt his mouth dry up, muscles tense, and teeth grit. He wanted to apologize and he wanted to explain, but his brain lost function at the sight of your face. Where to start, he did not know.

"I'm not mad at you." Your shaky voice proved that you were just disappointed but at this point you liked him too much to get up and leave. "I just want to understand you."

"I fucked girls because I was bored," Levi started. "I did not give a fuck about any of them."

Finally, you let yourself make eye contact with him. He continued. "I'm shit at processing emotions."

Well, you knew that much.

"I was scared so I acted out."

"Why were you scared?" You asked very softly.

"I like you too much," he answered without any delay. "Scared that I'd fuck and leave like everyone else."

Levi was unpredictable even to himself it seemed.

"I didn't mean it when I said that I just want to fu-"

"I understand."

"I'm sorry. I'm a fucking dick."

"Yeah, I know."

You both allowed the silence to seep in. However, it wasn't for long.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)." Levi shifted himself closer to you.

"It's alright."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

As his lips met yours, innocently, you forgave him with your infinite patience. And he was grateful for that.