The Impossible World of Easton Mcclaire

Catch me if you can Mr.Mcclaire

Yes, so she stole my bag and my very expensive jacket right after I screamed in her face. I deserved it but that didn't stop me from almost shitting myself. The documents on my computer combined with whatever she recorded last night could be the end of me. Prison for life. I enjoyed fine dining too much to give up right now. Not only that but there are no stalls in prison bathrooms, I don't want random people staring at my ass while I piss!

My only peace of mind was knowing that Lila didn't have a place to stay hence why she was here in the first place however that only meant she could be anywhere in the city right now. What if she traded my laptop for a place to stay? How could my day be getting worse and worse? I know I'm a bad guy but I'll change, god. Just forgive me once. I said a silent prayer.

I was sitting at my desk trying to find any evidence as to where it was. Hacking into subway security cameras was easy but finding the one person while in a crowd of a million people was near impossible. Think. Think. I chanted myself on. My head was still hurting, not as bad since I ate but that bottle of aspirin was calling my name. After swallowing two or three--I don't remember-- I went back to trying to track her down. I figured I could track her location using her phone and the phone number she wrote on that hoax job interview page. I threw it away the same night she gave it to me so I dig through two days worth of trash to find it soaked in a protein shake and bananas peels.

"Easton! My man! If you don't mind me asking my dear friendo, why are you digging through the trash?"  A voice jumped behind me. 

"You've caught me at the worse possible time, Abe." I said throwing my hand in the air and waving him off. All the trash from each tenant on this floor went to the same trash room. I was only hoping I wouldn't run into Abhiram but of course, that's another thing that I've been cursed with today.

"Seems like-"He trailed off; I already knew he was nodding softly. Abe was also in computer software. He runs a popular reading app called Bababooks out of his apartment. Abe is the only person that knows the truth about my illegal endeavors. He's equally as twisted so he describes everything I do as cool.

"Well, I'll make this quick. " Abe was suddenly standing next to me as I rummaged through the moist trash under me.

"What is it?" I breathed out and looked up at him. Abhiram was a skinny bird-chested Indian man that wore nothing but polos and khaki shorts. To tie it all together, he added a Rolex to the outfit. It was humorous. He drank americanos and listened to Nikki Minaj daily. He was a true character.

"I just got the tea from Doorman Joe-" He paused for dramatic effect and looked around like someone would appear out of thin air. "You're engaged?! Why didn't you tell me! I'm your best mate." He nudged me on the shoulder. "So where is this girl? When do I  get to meet her?" He smiled and rubbed his hands together like we were talking about what to cook for dinner. Extremely disturbing.

"You won't get to because I'm not getting married--" I shook my head and turned my head back to the bag.

"W-wait. Really? Then why did Doorman J-" He began but I cut him off as soon as my hand grasped the familiar yellow-lined paper.

"Stop getting tea from Doorman Joe, he has fucking psychosis." I wiped the paper clean of all the trash juices and began walking back to my apartment. Abe followed behind me closely. The sharpie was bleeding off the page but I could figure it out.

"Whose the unfortunate loser getting scammed this time?" Abe followed me into the living room and to my desk. I could hear the smirk in his voice. Sometimes it scared me how well Abe knew about my illegal activities. Maybe that's why no matter how much he annoys me I never push him too hard.

"No scamming today sadly, just tracking." I sighed. In seconds I was in my chair pounding on the keys. Thankfully her phone was on and active. Of course, she was moving so her location changed every couple of seconds. It didn't seem like she was aimlessly wandering around the city. She definitely had a destination, I just had to figure out where it was so I could beat her to it. Who knows what she was planning to do with that computer? Maybe pawn it for money? No, but I offered her money and she refused it. I doubt she'd pawn it for a couple of bucks. She circled around a coffee shop by the fashion district then the tiny blue dot that was her stopped moving for a moment.

"Cool. Who?" he asked.

"I don't have time for an interview, Abe. A psychotic woman has my life in her hands. Now leave, I've had too many uninvited guests in my house for one day," I said.

"Oh my god, Easton. Did your fiancee leave you and now you're trying to win her back so you're stalking her?" Abe gasped and covered his mouth. "This is not a good way to cope-" He started.

"Shut up, Abe." I brushed past him to my bedroom. I needed to get to that coffee shop before she moved. There was a tracking device on my computer but it only worked when the computer was turned on so it was a bust. As much as I appreciated that she didn't open it, I kinda wished she had. I grabbed a clean long sleeve and a pair of plain life wash jeans—that I hadn't used in months—and threw myself in the bathroom. It still smelt like vomit and fruit. Horrible combination, by the way.

"You can let yourself out, Abe." I yelled from inside the bathroom.

"Alright, buddy. Come and see me later. I have this bud with purple crystals in it that will totally mend your broken heart." He answered. 

When I didn't answer back he spoke again, "Easton?" 

"Purple crystals, you say?" I stroked my nonexistent beard.

"Yup, I got it from that crazy Chinese chick that works at Lee's BB-" he started again. 

"Ugh, I don't have time for this."I shook my head. "Just go. We'll talk later." 

I heard the front door slam shut shortly after. 

Honestly, having Lila stay with me wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't completely repulsed by everything she stood for. I crave being alone and she was the opposite of everything I liked. Not to mention to was a complete stranger and the only thing I know about her is she is an eccentric hippie. Of course, she didn't seem like much of a threat—meaning she might not be a serial killer or murderer, she's already proved she is a fighter—I didn't have a reason to be worried.

Looking back, I can't believe I actually tried to rationalize living with a lunatic like Lila Stewart. I should've added thief to the list of things Lila Stewart was.

So with that, I began chasing Lilla Stewart around New York.

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Let the chase begin, hahahahha!!!