Saving Ashley

Chapter three

I had one hell of a strange dream. It was my birthday and there was an invisible guy in my bedroom who only I could see. I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the dream. Thinking about it, it was quite a boring dream...I mean nothing happened with me and the hottie. 

I sat up slowly rubbing my forehead and looking at the floor, I caught a glimsp of a card and box and slowly approached it. A birthday card and key...Like the ones in my dream? Maybe I just fell asleep after I dropped them, I was extremely tired after all. I hope mum didn't notice them on the floor, it'll upset her. I picked up the card and put it on the shelf along with the key. Well, what a nice birthday. It's only 3pm and I've worked, opened one card and fell asleep. Wow, I need to calm down a little.

"You feeling better now?" A voice whispered from behind me and I froze. I recognised that voice. It was the one from my dream, am I still dreaming? 

"Oh jesus I need to wake up" I sighed to myself and started pinching my skin.

"Hey! Don't do that-" I felt a hand grab mine and I turned pale. No dream is this realistic. "Look, why don't you sit down...I'm scared you're going to faint" He chuckled faintly and I turned around slowly, seeing his face inches away from mine. "Okay, you really need to sit down, you look like a ghost" He pulled me along to the bed and sat me down slowly.

"I'm not dreaming am I?" I whispered looking into his eyes and he shook his head slowly. "So, what you're saying is, that I'm having a crap birthday and there's a random guy in my room"

"Hey, I personally thought I'd be the highlight of your birthday" He gave me a cheeky smile but then dropped it and held my hands gently. "Yeah, I must admit if I was in your shoes then I'd be freaked out too" He sighed, "This is going to be really hard, this whole thing is going to be hard but like I said to you I need to tell you over time. If I tell you it all now then you're not going to handle it"

"You know when you speak to me and answer my questions you just create more?" I asked and he smiled. "Right, I'll try not to ask anymore questions because it's just not leading me anywhere"

"That's fine by me" He let go of my hands, realizing we'd been holding each others hands for a few minutes...Which was really awkward. 

"But..." I sighed, "No offence, 'Jay; but I'm really not in the mood for surprises"

"That's why I'm here Ashley"

I raised an eyebrow, confused by his words. He looked worried, upset.

"I've noticed your moods. I've noticed you don't care for anything, I noticed that you're sad all the time and that life to you is nothing but...Crap!" He grabbed hold of my arms gently and before I could stop him he pulled up my sleeves. "And I've noticed how bad you really are" He whispered, his eyes were filled with pain whilst he stared at my scars. "I wish I could have stopped you"

"Look, this is really creepy-"

"Don't change the subject Ash, you know how bad you feel, how the feelings are getting worse" I yanked my arms away and stood up, I was full of rage. How dare he come into my room, on my BIRTHDAY and act like he's known me for all my life, I don't even know how he even knew about my arms or my feelings but he was stepping way over the line.

"Look, just back off. You can't just stroll in here acting like you know me, this is really fucked up and out of order. If I was you, I'd leave. Now" My fists were clenched and I was ready to hit something...Or him.

"I can't leave" He stood up slowly, looking at my fists "Not whilst you're like this" He gently unclenched my fist and all I could do was stare at him. "I didn't mean for our meeting to be like this, I wanted us to be nice to each other, have a few laughs-"

"And then you leave? Like everyone else?" I snapped, tears slowly filling my eyes. I wasn't the one who could control my feelings.

He smiled at me softly, "I could never leave you" Something about what he said hit me right in the heart, which was extremely weird since I've only just met him.

"Stop" My voice came out weak and pathetic but I just couldn't help it. "You don't know me"

"I know you more than you know yourself" I started walking towards the door, "Ash"

"Don't call me that" I spat out, keeping my back to him. "Look, I just need to get away from you for a while. I really hope you understand why" I started walking, not waiting for a reply...If he would even give one. I walked towards the front door, grabbing my coat and putting my shoes on quickly. I shot past mum before she could even blink. I just needed some fresh air, just to clear my head a little. Hopefully that guy would be gone. Do I really want him gone though? I mean, he seems like he won't leave me but everyone says that and what happens when you trust them? They go, like they don't care about you, not at all.

I walked to the closest park and sat down on the bench. It was freezing, typical British weather. I tried to take my mind off what happened today, well, about ten minutes ago. It was hard, I mean all I had here to look at was tree's, empty swings which were blowing in the wind and a slide that looked filthy. At least I was away from him, away from home. Jay coming into my life like that messed me up, I felt worse than what I did this morning. I just want to be left alone, I mean, I have my family who I do care about a lot but If I had my way I'd isolate myself completely. 

I curled up into a tight ball and rested my head on my knee's. It wasn't my fault that I felt like this surely? I mean, my childhood wasn't great. I lost the one person who meant the world to me, I know it sounds stupid because I was only a kid then but he was my best friend. God knows where we would be now, maybe he'd have turned into the cool kid and left me for his reputation. Maybe he would have been there for me through all my dark times. He'd stop me from hurting myself in any way or form. That's even if I would have felt any pain if he was still here.

"I hate seeing you like this" I quickly lifted my head up and say Jay standing there. "I'm sorry to disturb you, I just couldn't leave you on your own"

"You're really pushing your luck" I frowned and he nodded sitting next to me.

"If helping you means that you're going to hate me then so be it. I'd rather you get better and hate me then you liking me and you end up taking your own life" He whispered leaning back and looking around. "Nice scenery" 

"Why are you so persistent on helping someone you've only just met"

"We've met before" I looked at him confused and he nodded again.

"Let me guess, all will be revealed with time" I mocked and he laughed a little. "Well, you seem like a stalker to me so you're not in my good books"

"Then give me a chance to get into your good books" I looked at the floor blankly. "Just one chance, you need to take risks in life to get somewhere"

"Fine. But if  you screw up you leave me alone and never come back" I looked into his sad, puppy eyes. 

"Fine, then I'll make sure I don't screw up"