my future roommate

Chapter 12: You don't need to save me

I didn't really need to change clothes. I just needed to clear my head and think one more time about what I was going to tell Tine. The last time I shared details about my world with Tine, it changed the future. I have been very very careful about what I tell Tine since then, but I didn't think I could hide things from Tine anymore — He needed to know what happens in the future to avoid it completely, or to fight it at least.

"God, I feel a lot better.." I said as I walked out to the living room in my changed clothes.

"You do? What did you do on the set today?"

"Some live song sessions and some photoshoot.. It was all very confusing—" As I sat down on the sofa next to Tine, I noticed his calloused fingers. "You hurt your hands because of those guitar strings, didn't you? Why did you take off the band aids I gave?"

"You remember giving me band aids?"

"Of course I do. I also remember the dinner we had together.. and the breakfast."

"You know I sometimes forget that you and the Sarawat in my world are the same person — Just one is older than the other."

I looked at Tine "We are the same person, Tine. Never forget that. I am him and he is me. You'll always have a Sarawat with you, whether its in your world or mine. You'll never be alone, not anymore, I promise you that."

Tine looked down and we fell into silence.

In the new memories that I had today, the accident still happened and I pushed Tine away from me as much as I could. Tine tried to get in touch with me so many times, but I was just too much in my world — too worried about trying to put food on the table for Phukong and paying for dad's hospital bills to even care about anything else. I didn't have the time to even sort through my feelings for Tine. There wasn't even a moment where I believed that I was good enough to be with someone like Tine. After months of trying, Tine gave up and stopped reaching out to me — and the next time I heard about Tine was when he was already dead — engulfing with this immense guilt in my heart. But not anymore, I wasn't going to leave Tine alone. I was going to save Tine no matter what it took.

"Hey Wat?"

"Hmmm.."

"Do you get all these new memories as and when they happen in my world?"

"I am not sure? It usually comes at me all at once." I looked at Tine's fingers again, full of scratches and unhealed. "God, they are bruised so bad. Let me get you more bandaids."

"But Wat—"

"Just hang on.."

"No but Wat —"

"They must be somewhere in the first aid box."

"Wat what I mean is —"

"Found them. Here" I finally found the band aids and brought them back to put them on Tine — only to watch those bandaids go through Tine's hands like he was just thin air and in that moment reality came flooding back to me.

"I was stopping you because I knew I cant use your band aids, Wat." said Tine.

"Because you don't exist in my world and I don't exist in yours."

"Well no, you exist in my world, but its just your bandaids don't exist in my world because they are from the future. And hopefully I exist somewhere in your world too. Did you ever try finding me?" Tine smiled at me but it wasn't enough to stop my heart from breaking. I had no idea what I needed to do to save Tine in my world. I had no idea what I needed to do to just keep him happy and alive.