I'm not acting.

How It Started.

I woke up on a beautiful morning, feeling good in my stomach.
The sun was shining in through the window and I could feel the warm rays fraying over my legs.
My laptop made a noise.
It was 6:00 am. I was still tired. But knew that sleeping further was not an option. Every morning I check my email. My sister, Yara and I auditioned for a part in the new project of The MCU. We've been looking forward to this opportunity for years. She's my best friend and sister.

We've been acting together in school and camp plays since we were a kid. We've been very close ever since. Her job has expanded by traveling. So I chose to do this myself. It was hard to combine with my other work as well.
I now work behind the scenes and help the actors learn their role by adjusting the decor, also to the decor I sometimes participate in.
I have an unfinished project in my living room.
Which made me work until 1:00 yesterday.
I'm from France myself. Me and my sister moved to Italy. Now we're back in France to be with our parents. Every summer we come by.
We each have our separate apartment here. In Italy we live in one big house.

I stood up and dragged my laptop into bed. My laptop made a noise. That signed to a message.
The message was from my sister Yara, she said
"Y/N, CALL ME ASAP!!"

I was in shock.
I knew it was about applying for the role. But I didn't ask about it. And called her right away.

Yara, plays in bigger roles. I'm always there for her, but her success sometimes makes me feel insecure.
The phone rang and I waited impatiently for Yara's voice. She picked up pretty quickly.
Yara : "Y/N! I HAVE GREAT NEWS!"
Y/N : "WHAT IS IT? YOU MAKE ME CURIOUS."
Yara was breathing very restlessly and laughed with pleasure.
Yara : "Meet me at the cafe around the corner from my street."

I reacted quickly and took it off. Usually when Yara had good news, it was good news. I was super curious and couldn't wait. I showered, put on my clothes and took all my stuff, I was outside in 20 minutes.
I took my bike and cycled around the neighborhood.
While cycling, I knew what it was about. I should be able to handle disappointment and joy at the same time.
I saw Yara sitting there and made a clear gesture.
I came to Yara's table and gave her a hug. I hadn't seen her in two weeks. She was away with her boyfriend to Greece. I had a chance to come with them. But I couldn't. I had an internship in North of France.
And didn't want to stand in her way.
Yara looked surprised and immediately started telling.
But I interrupted her.
"Yara, calm down. I've never seen you so excited."
"I know,I know I'm sorry. I won't keep you in suspense any longer. So, I scrolled through my e-mails this morning.
There were too many of them to open. Until I got an email from the crew from
'The Marvel Cinematic Universe'.

I hear Yara's words and understood them very clearly.
But I couldn't say anything.
So much went through my head.
I was so happy for her. But on the other hand. Disappointed too. I would have loved to have had this role tho.

Yara continued
"I got the role."
I need to be happy for her.
But I feel something,
Disappointment
"Y/n, are you okay?"
"Oh eh yeah, I just didn't got an e-mail yet.
"Oh y/n, I'm sorry..-"

Yara interrupted herself and squeezed into my hands that was still in hers.
She froze, she didn't move.
Yara : "oh","oh no, no, no, no, no, no!!"
"What' s wrong???" I ask.
"I can't."
"What do you mean, you can't??"
"I just can't-"
She throws her hand in the air.
"... "
"This can hurt my career or... end it."
"Yara... The mcu would just refresh your career. Just do it."
"You don't get it."
"Tell me then."
"I already signed the contract y/n, and breaking it would cost a fortune."
"but there has- to be- something." I say.
"Don't worry. I should not have told you without not being sure. I'm going home now and see what I can do."
I gave Yara a hug and let her leave.
Her happy tears had been exchanged in desperate tears.
I understand her doubts. After all, it's a big part.
But a role for the mcu, that's completely different.
I also went home after a coffee and prepared breakfast. It was 10:00 by now.
While baking my egg, I thought delusionally about Yana's worries.
I can't decide for her.
After all, it's still her role.
I ate my breakfast tastelessly. And took my laptop. I read all my emails and searched for the MCU-mail
I searched for my name, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
This can't be true.

I was the replacement for the role.
I could replace her.
                                                                                                                    ~

Finally, I got another call from Yara. I took it so fast that Yara was shocked.
Yara : "Y/n?"
Y/n : "Yes??"
Yara : "I have bad news."
Y/n : "Oh f-"
Yara : "Okay.... So, I called my boss. He couldn't move my role. I can't afford this y/n."
Y/n : "Are you serious? He can't do that. Did you tell him about the roll??"
Yara : "yes, y/n, but he's not looking at that..."
Y/n : "But their has to be something..."
Yara : "Did you get a mail yet?"
"..."
Yara : "Y/n?"
Y/n : I'm your replacement."
Yara : "Oh, oh wauw. That's... that's good right?"
Y/n : "Yeah.."
Yara : "What? What's wrong?"
Y/n : "C'mon Yara, I can't replace you.."
Yara : "Omg y/n. Is that what you're worrying about?"
Y/n : "Why is this all going so fast?"

I plop myself down in the seat, yesterday I woke up as a normal person without any choice stress. And know I need to replace my own sister.

Yara : "I'm sure you can work this out with your boss."
Y/n : "Yeah, I guess so."
Irub my fingers hard in my eyes. Hoping this is just a dream.
Nope.

Yara : "You. You y/n. You can replace me. You have the replacement role. So take this fucking chance and rock this."
Yara : "Like you said, I can't pass up this opportunity.C'mon y/n."

I was speechless. I was happy with the opportunity. But replace her? My own sister? That went a long way.

Yara : So?
Y/n : I-I have to think about it. Where? When?
Yara : I'll send you the role-form. Think about it. But I need to know.
Y/n : Yara, I can't do this.
Yara : Yes, you've been dreaming of this opportunity for so long.
Y/N : "I-I..what if they don't want me? What if I don't fit in? I'm obviously not good enough."
Yara : "The role is tailor-made for you. Now, think about it. I'll speak to you later."

She took off and left me with an empty feeling. I couldn't think.
I don't really feel like she's fully behind it either
I sit right and look at my project. I felt hopeless.
It all happened so fast. So I decided to settle back to my room and think about it. As soon as I come in, I check my laptop.
It was Yara, she sent into the form.
I opened the link and looked at the words.

My mouth fell open.