Wolfstar Oneshots

angry love confession

They all sat in the common room around the fire. Lily was sitting in James' lap, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut every so often. James had his arms wrapped around her waist as he talked to Sirius. Peter was sitting on the ground, parchment splayed around him, as he attempted to organize all of his Potions notes. Sirius was draped on a couch, his raven hair like a halo around his head. He held his arms up and fiddled with his fingers. Remus sat in a chair closest to the fire reading a book.

No, he was pretending to read his book. His mind was very much occupied with the letter that felt like it was burning a hole through his back pocket. He could almost feel the cruelty coming off of it in waves. He knew what it was going to say. He knew. It was always the same. But he couldn't bring himself to read it. He knew what it was going to say, but he also knew it was going to hurt all the same. No matter what, it always hurt. But he would have to read it eventually. Maybe if he could just put it off a little bit longer. It was just so close to the full moon and he already felt like he was going to burst. Sirius wasn't helping.

Remus tried to push the letter out of his mind and refocus on his book but he kept getting distracted by James and Sirius' conversation.

"I don't know why you care mate," James told Sirius.

"It's not like you like any of them back anyway."

"But that's not the point," Sirius argued, turning to look at James. "I just think it would be interesting to know."

James snorted.

"Really? You want to know all the girls who have ever liked you, just because you're interested? I don't believe that."

"Okay, well maybe I want to know because I'm a self-centered prat who likes to boost my own ego," Sirius joked.

James and Peter both chuckled. Remus felt that he couldn't be bothered, not with that letter burning his skin and clouding his mind. He tried to focus on his book again. No such luck.

"Well fine then, since you were honest. Who do you know already?" James asked Sirius.

"Well there was Rebecca and Jamie back in first year. Then Sarah, Sam, and Brooke in second. Then Olivia and Emma in third. Then-"

Remus couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was just too close to the full moon and his body was already aching. Or maybe it was just that he was so absurdly in love with Sirius and that was just one more secret he had to keep. Or maybe it was that damn letter that still sat burning the back of Remus's thigh. Maybe it was that exams were coming up or just the overwhelming thoughts that constantly plagued Remus. Whatever it was, he couldn't take it anymore.

Remus shut his book and left.

He didn't stop when his friends asked where he was going. He didn't stop once he was outside of the portrait hole. He didn't stop until he was long past the castle and sitting on the edge of the Black Lake. He had had enough sense in him to bring his book with him. He didn't want to go back to Gryffindor Tower anytime soon. He figured he would just sit here and read. And ignore his thoughts. If he could just disappear in a book then he wouldn't have to deal with anything. He knew that right now if he tried to deal with anything it would all come crashing down onto him and he would most likely drown. He didn't feel like doing that right now. He had just opened his book when he heard a pair of feet.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

Remus didn't think he could handle anything, no, anyone else tonight.

The pair of feet was still quite a ways off, but he could tell it was Sirius. He could smell his familiar cologne and shampoo. He could smell the tiniest hint of dog fur and the woods. He sharply exhaled. He couldn't handle this right now. Remus knew he was on the verge of a complete breakdown and he didn't feel like doing that in front of Sirius right now. He returned his gaze to his book. He knew there was an unavoidable confrontation coming. Maybe if he could just hold his composure. Maybe if he just didn't look Sirius in the eyes. Those eyes would break him.