Chapter Eight

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CHAPTER EIGHT

I'm sitting down in a tree, far away from the house.  My shoes are dangling from a branch near where I am sitting.  My tears have dried up, and I am wondering how I could've been so dim-witted.  It would've been smart to not date anyone until my father died and I was to be married to my fiancée, whoever that is.

            Nobody tries to find me, which confirms my fears that they really don't care that much about me.  I know Larry cares, but he knows to let me cry out my sadness, and then come find me.  It would probably be another hour or two before he would come looking.

            "Jane!" voices call, from far away, but I don't answer them.  I watch the way my legs dangle over the huge branch that I am sitting on top of.  Half of me is surprised it hasn't already broken in two and dropped me down on the ground. 

"That's not really safe," calls a voice that sounds a lot like Shang.  I don't say anything; for fear that my voice would wobble.  All of a sudden, he appears right beside me on the limb.  I don't move, because the thing would collapse with both of our weight.  "Will you let me explain?" he whispers, barely touching me with the edge of his arm and mine.  "No," I whisper back, if I said everything that was on my mind, then I probably would push him off the branch.  I know that he's had over an hour to come up with an excuse, and a plausible one at that. 

"She's my fiancée," he says, not paying attention to my protests.  He's looking out into the stars, since we are high up above the ground, so much closer to the stars than usual.  I sit in total stillness, as he goes on. "My father is coming from Japan, with the whole family.  She came early to tell me, kind of warn me too.  She's a nice girl, very sweet and considerate," he says, "We can't be together. You and I.  If my father found out I was dating you, against his wishes, even though I am promised to someone else, he would kill you.  I thought everything would be fine, because he hates America, he would never come here, but it seems as if he has business here.  I thought I would get over my crush on you, before I was to wed her, but it seems that is impossible, since I very well may be in-" he says, then cuts himself off, before he says whatever he was going to say.  I'd like to think he would say that he loves me, but that would be wishful thinking.  "So I guess you had your fun," I say in a cold voice, hiding my hurt heart.  He wants to say something else, but put my hand up silencing him.  "You knew what you were doing from the beginning, so don't try to say otherwise.  It's your fault your that I am hurt, because you were the one being selfish, wanting the best of both worlds.  I, once again, forgive you, but don't try to be my.....friend anymore," I state, jumping off the tree, and leaving him there.

I didn't want to do that.  I wanted to hug him, and have him make me feel better.  I wanted to say I forgave him and wanted him back.  I wanted him to hold me and tell me that he loved me, but doesn't every girl feel that way with their first ever love? 

I tried to tell myself that, as I was walking shoeless back to the house.  Shang didn't follow me, I guess staring at the stars still.  In the end though, I was just as guilty as him, because I too was engaged to someone else.  Some part of me thought that maybe my father would see this and let me be with him, but then I guess that too was just wishful thinking.

My sister runs out of the house, when she sees me walking towards the car. "Jane!  Where have you been?" she cries, pulling me to her.  Since she was taller than me, which was saying a lot, my head rested against her collarbone. "I'm fine," I whisper against her skin.  She rubs my back and lets go of me, but leaves her arm around my shoulders.  Larry comes out, without Dale.  "My poor Jane," he says, wrapping his arm around my waist.  At this one moment I feel loved.

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