Kids Never Grow Up (Grown Ups Fanfiction)

Saying Goodbye One Last Time

(Jay P.O.V)

Friday came along and it was time for the funeral, everyone was dressed in their nicest funeral clothes. I had a simple white dress shirt and black blazer on with matching suit pants, my hair was slicked back and was held together by the gel. Everyone but me, Rita, and Dad was wearing sunglasses which annoyed me. "Okay, guys, let's try to act normal in there." Dad told us and Roxanne asked why he wasn't wearing his sunglasses. Then someone shouted. "Hollywood." Which was Dad's main reason, can't say I blame him at all. "Hey. Look at that. Kurt McKenzie." Dad said and I realized who it was after barely remembering them. They were at Dad's and Roxanne's wedding years ago. The two hugged it out and I watched from the sidelines.

Dad sent the pregnant lady towards Roxanne and I snickered. "I see that ass is still growing. Got a little Kardashian in there." Kurt stated and I laughed at that. "Well, you've kind of turned into a little Michael Vick thing, if he was bulimic." Dad remarked and the two laughed. "You remember Jayden right?" Dad asked him and I waved and McKenzie was shocked. "Holy crap, little Jay?" McKenzie asked me and I nodded and he hugged me tightly. "Man I haven't seen you since you were two, now you're all grown up now." He remarked and I laughed. "Yeah, well it's been fifteen years." I told him and he agreed. "Well, you look more and more like Lenny every day." He said and I shook my head. "Nope, I'm the less fugly version of him." I stated and we both laughed while Dad rolled his eyes. "Little Lenny Feder" An old woman stated and I looked over and saw this woman with a giant ass bow on her head. "Mama Ronzoni got big, huh?" Dad muttered and then the woman came over. "Look at this handsome hunk of prosciutto. And such a big success." She stated and demanded a kiss, she had her lips puckered and I felt disgusted by that. 

Roxanne came over a bit later after Mama Ronzoni made comments about Kurt, which I felt weren't needed. "Hello, Mama Ronzoni, I'm so pleased to meet you. I'm little Lenny's wife." Roxanne introduced herself and the elderly woman looked impressed. "What a spicy quesadilla you got yourself, Lenny." She commented and dad of course made a comment and then the comment got really gross and disturbing. I couldn't look at the three after that. Then Greg's phone went off and I felt my eyebrow twitch some what. "Didn't I tell you to turn the phone off there, Greg?" Dad asked him and Greg simply told him it was his massage therapist, God that sounds completely weird to say. "What? No, no. No cell phones." Dad told him and then someone butted into the conversation. "What no cell phones? Then I'm out of here." The guy said and everyone turned towards his direction. "Higgie." Dad said and I realized who it was, Marcus Higgins also known as Dad's horny ass friend. He tried to make light of the situation but it just made things awkward. "I'm sorry, death makes me weird." He apologized and I snorted slightly. He hugged McKenzie and told him that he had soft hands, called Dad fat which I agreed on and he called Higgins the third Olsen twin. Of course Higgins joked about actually being related to them and then pointed out my brothers and sister with Rita. "Wait a minute, that's not a nanny is it?" Higgins questions Dad and I smirked as to what Dad was going to do to hide that fact. "No, no, this is a friend of ours from China." Dad explained to him and I snickered slightly so nobody could hear it. "Oh, yeah. No, I've been on that website." Higgins said and I looked at him with a disturbed face, clearly this man thinks with the wrong head if you know what I mean. 

"No, no, no. Like an exchange student that - my wife brought her into the house." Dad explained further and Higgins still took it dirty. "Oh, your wife's into chicks. Oh, that's nice." Higgins thought and I was traumatized more than earlier since the other two were fist pumping one another while Dad was trying to explain that she was just an exchange student. Then another car pulled up, a beige Cadillac which looked completely out of his price range. "Hey, now." The guy said and then the car stopped and we all walk over towards him. I saw his wife, a small boy and two girls but I had my eyes on the oldest child. She had long blonde hair like her Mom, similar skin tone to her Mom as well, but her smile was what drew me in. It made it seem like today wasn't a dreary day at all. She turned and saw me looking at her and winked and I blushed slightly and looked away flustered. I've never been like this with anyone but there was something about her that does that and I don't hate it.