Kids Never Grow Up (Grown Ups Fanfiction)

The Buzzer Has Sounded Off

(Jay P.O.V)

Walking into the living room/dining room, you could immediately hear screams and chainsaws and most people would question that. But sadly that's normal here in the Feder household. I grabbed my textbook and began studying for the SAT in the fall, I wanted to get into a good college without much of Dad's help. Dad may be 'the biggest agent in Hollywood' but that doesn't mean I wanted to be a spoiled brat and ask him to buy my way into the school. My brothers are already like that and my sister is going to be like that in the future but I don't want to be like that. "You two are unbelievable." I told them but they ignored me which was very rude. I began writing down practice problems on a piece of paper when Dad came into the room with an old box of 'chutes and ladders', I remember when we used to play that. Greg played that too but then Dad and Roxanne got busy with their careers and couldn't raise us so they hired another nanny but she retired and now we have Rita who I honestly want to give a raise for dealing with my brothers. 

"I'm the biggest agent Hollywood and you just pissed me off!" Dad yelled and I sighed at the loudness in this household. "And now I'll pull Brad Pitt from your movie." Dad threatened the person on the phone. "I'll pull Julia Roberts from your movie. I don't care Sandy." He told the person, named Sandy, with a lot of aggression. "That's right, you better back down." He told them before sitting down on the couch. "Thank you. Have a good Fourth of July, alright love you too." He said and then hung up the phone, he looked at the two and then at me. I nodded and went back to trying to solve these questions, quadratic formula is a pain in the ass. "What's up, boys? Hey." Dad said, trying to get his other two son's attention but they both ignored him and I wondered what went wrong with how they were raised. "Greggie, Keithie." He tried again but then saw the game the two were playing and didn't care. "You guys ever hear of a game called chutes and ladders?" He asked them but they were too focused on the game. "Pretty cool game, me and Jay used to play this when we were kids." Dad said and I chuckled at those days, Dad would be home for the weekend and would spend the day with me before going out with Roxanne. "Okay, what it is, is they give you a spinner. And you spin. If you land on a ladder, you get to climb up the ladder. If you land on a chute, you slide down the chute and start over again." Dad explained and finally Greg answered. "Yeah, and what happens? The winner gets a training bra?" Greg questioned and I sighed. "Yeah, Dad, that game sounds like it sucks." Keithie remarks and I rubbed my face at the sound of my idiot brothers who can't seem to understand the simple things in life. 

"I'm telling you, this was the greatest game. Me, Jay, and my buddies would play it. We'd go down in the basement, drink hot chocolate" Dad stated and then Keithie unfocused from the game for a second. "I wouldn't mind a hot chocolate right now." Keithie stated and then went back to the game. "Rita?! Rita?!" Keithie yelled and I groaned in response, can't he just pause the game and get off his lazy ass for once in his life. God, it's like they were raised with diamond spoons in their mouths. "Dude, you gotta text her. She's doing laundry." Greg told him and I groaned slightly louder after hearing that, did he seriously suggest texting the nanny for hot chocolate. Even Dad felt the same as I did, I tried my best to make sure those boys didn't act like those snobbish kids I go to school with everyday but they ended up being like that. "Hey, Dad, we were at the Spielberg's' house yesterday. They have a 150-inch TV. Can we get one of those?" Greg asked Dad and I laughed at the thought of Dad giving them that, wow they have some big los cajones. "When you direct E.T., I'll get you one of those." Dad remarked and I chuckled and looked at the problems and sighed and closed the book, knowing well that I won't be able to work on these for a while. 

Dad looked at the screen that the boys were so focused on, honestly that's wrong with the current generation, they're too focused on these screens. "What's the object here? I don't get it." Dad asked them and then I stepped in, finally speaking. "You're on a cruise ship and you chop people's heads off with a chain saw?" I asked them and what does Keithie say to this. "Oh, and you can drown them." Keithie adds on and I look at the two like they were crazy, especially after seeing them throw a granny overboard the boat. All in the background, the house phone was going off.