So Many Secrets.

Caught

I get back from potions. Potions. Is. Stupid. He's still annoyed I went and flied, but that was a week ago. He's just being an arse now.

When I get back to our dorm, it's empty, save for Blaise, and he looks scared. We aren't good friends, but he's close friends with Draco, and he looks terrible. 

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly. 

"What is this?"

He holds up a blade. My blade. With my blood on it. 

"Um... It looks like a Potions-"

"Don't play stupid, Harry, I know what this is!" he says. "You..." He glares. "What did you do!? You... Show me!"

I hold my wrist so he can't grab it and look. "It... It was only one time. Please don't tell anybody!"

"I'm telling Draco-" He tries to walk past me. I push him instead. He hits his head. "You know, I should go tell Snape, since he's your new dad and all." He holds his head. Thankfully he isn't bleeding. "I've been trying to be nice to you since we had that petty fight months ago and all you can do is annoy me! Heaven forbid I don't want you hurting yourself!"

"Well it isn't any of your business."

"I'm telling Draco."

I take the knife from him and chuck it in the garbage bin. "It. Was. Once. Time. I'll tell him myself. Just leave me alone. You've done a great job of doing that since we got off that train. What happened to that Blaise!? The one who stood up for me!?"

"I..." He looks down at his feet. "I don't know... I'm sorry."

"Exactly. So... I'll tell him, okay? But you haven't cared since then. You have no business doing it now."

I leave the dorm. I don't even know why I came up here in the first place. 

What's Blaise's deal!? He didn't care before! Draco and Neville and Hermione did, Hagrid and Dumbledore did, no one else! Sure as hell not that stupid, idiot, Blaise!

I kick a wall. I dunno why. Maybe so I don't start crying.

"Mr. Potter..." Severus says when I walk past his office. "Why don't you come into my office."

No point in arguing. No point in anything, really.

"What were you and Mr. Zabini arguing about?"

"Nothing that's your business," I say. "Can I go now?"

"No, you can not 'go now'. I haven't checked you at all for the past two weeks."

No, not today! Please not today!

I get up to leave, but it isn't going to stop him from doing the stupid spell.

So you know what?

I. Don't. Care.

"Harry-"

"I was Mr. Potter a few minutes ago," I mumble. "And... You know what, I don't care."

"Why?" He locks the door with his wand or something. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I did."

"No, really? I didn't realize," he says. "Why-"

"Because I was sad, how's that? Why would you care anyway?"

"Because I care about you. You're a kid, you don't deserve this-"

I laugh. "You have no idea what I deserve."

"Oh, really!?" He sits on his desk, facing me. "Yes, I do, actually. You deserve to not be depressed, you deserve to sleep at night, you deserve to not feel like you need to do this. Trust me."