Consumed | ATEEZ Park Seonghwa (Revising)

2:20- Be Happy

"There is so much I have to tell you-"

"I have a brother, don't I?" I thought back to the boy, he looked nothing like me. But I could feel it, just like I could feel these two were my parents. "I read the letter, you told me you liked the name Wooyoung. Is that him?"

My mother, whose name was Daisy, turned around. "Wooyoung, baby, you can come over!" I looked behind her to see the boy on the porch, patiently waiting. He slid down the stairs and sprinted over, a faint smile on his lips as he walked through the gate.

"So you're my little brother? It's about time I have someone younger than me." He smiled, he was cute. I adored the beauty mark on cheek. I never imagined I would ever have a sibling, a younger brother. But there he was, standing in front of me. "You look different than I thought you would. You're very cute, you'll love me within these next few days, I'll make sure of that."

"Oh really? I look different? Thanks I guess." He ignored my last comment and pulled me into a tight hug, very tight. It seemed we were similar in one way, we were both straightforward. "Mom and Dad would talk about you every day, especially when we found out about your partner." I smiled weakly at them, my parents, as I was still being attacked by Wooyoung.

"He's here with me now, I know this all so sudden." Lots of dramatic gasps came, I paused and chuckled, "he's over here, you wanna meet him?" My Dad looked a little nervous, my Mom and Wooyoung looked eager, however.

"Uhm, you can come over now." I called Seonghwa over, waving at him with a smile. This was insane. I meet my parents for the first time, then ten minutes later my partner meets them. I was a little overwhelmed, but I could manage. I had been in a war, people were slaughtered in front of my very own eyes. I could handle this.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Seonghwa." He bowed towards the three, they all examined him thoroughly and bowed back. I was impressed, he sent them all a polite smile.

"I'm Angel, this is my wife Daisy and this is your brother-in-law Wooyoung." I could feel my body heat up, I avoided eye contact with all of them. I could hear evil snickers come from the three.

"We're not necessarily engaged, yet." I turned the attention to Seonghwa, who immediately turned red.

My mom smiled, her tears still wet on her face. Her round eyes were swollen and red, yet somehow still glimmered with zeal. "Before we start pressuring him, we should head inside and talk? We should eat too."

••••

I laid on the white blankets, which were said to be mine. The baby pink walls were painted with me in mind, and all of the books on the large bookcase were chosen for me as well. It was odd to me, that they bought a house with an extra two rooms. For me and Wooyoung, even though they didn't know if they'd adopt or ever see me again. Even still, their hope endured until this moment, when their plan was finally met. Wooyoung was in his room, me in mine. I smiled, hugging the polar bear plushie they bought for me years ago. They looked so happy as we all sat together, like they achieved their purpose. I felt glad for them, naturally.

My whole life I felt jealous. Two people, my parents, were living their life without me. I thought, it's not fair. I deserve that love. I should be allowed to see them, it wouldn't get in the way.

As we drove up to the house, I believed I would feel even more envy. I thought it would take over, and make me bitter towards them, towards fate. But it was quite the opposite, that weight was lifted off my shoulders. They didn't move on, or try to forget me. They waited, even though it wasn't fair to them. They waited for me, and never even thought of forgetting me.

"Whatcha thinking about." Seonghwa loomed over me, I turned and gazed at him. His hair was messy, I loved it.

"I'm just processing, I'm happy." I didn't hide it, I let him see what I felt. Through my closed eyes, and the peaceful grin on my face. I was relieved, my family didn't move on without me.

"That's good.. You think they liked me?" Seonghwa's knee sunk into the comforter, his shadow casted onto my face. I could see his dark eyes clearer, no swirls or sparkles due to him not facing the light.

"Of course, I'm glad they're so inviting. I'm so relieved." I moved up and down as he plopped down next to me, his legs were by head since he sat up. "They have funny names, Daisy and Angel? Weird."

"I thought so too, it's English, right?" I translated, which made him even more confused. "Yeah, that is odd." The dark brown spheres in his eyes were still, I could tell his head was in the clouds. He spaced out, and I watched him. Enamored by his existence, driven insane by the way I felt about him. If he were to touch me, or look at me in that moment, how would I react? I would feel hope, for his potential fondness and my possible worthiness. I thought, maybe I really do deserve love.

"You broke your promise." That earned his attention, I was glad for some reason. "You never told me about your parents, I understand if you don't want to talk about it." I turned towards him on my side, my own eyes locked in place even as I moved. My hand came to his thigh, I drew tiny circles on his black jeans. I could feel him tense for a moment before relaxing, yet his face didn't show it. We were close on the full sized bed.

"Neither my mother or father were able to take care of me. So I was put up for adoption when I was a baby. I've met my mother once. She abused substances since she was young, but she stopped by the time she was around her 20th. I was born when she was in her 23rd, I think, and then she started again. She said she had postpartum depression, and that's why. She's in rehab now, I haven't seen her since a few years ago. When I asked her about my father she said he was in prison or something, I don't even know. I don't like thinking about it, it's just weird."

I listened, my heart sunk the more he spoke. I was surprised he kept his gaze on me, he didn't look away. I didn't know what to say, it was a lot. "Thank you for telling me. That's a lot for one person to process, so if you ever need help you can share it with me." I dragged myself closer, laying my head on his lap. My eyes closed, "how did it feel to tell me that? I'm curious."

"Mm, I felt fine. I don't know my biological parents, nor do I want their love or attention. I have my real parents for that, I'm over it." He hesitated, and I was surprised to hear him like that. "I trust you more than I want to. It's not that I don't think your trustworthy, I just don't trust myself. That doesn't make sense but,"

He paused, so I took the opportunity, "It does, to me."

••••

I've learned things within the past few days, that will forever scar me for life. It's fine though, I'm used to it cuz I have extremely secretive parents that are horrible at being sneaky. While I'm a whole master, I literally know everything about everyone in my family. It's a blessing and curse.