Watching Over You • Nomin

epilogue

Letters, gifts, photos, surprises, and taking selfies on occasions didn't make him feel good. 

The nightmares about running away from his problems, fearing something he didn't understand didn't make him feel okay.

Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “I know that you're pretty self-aware of yourself and you don't want me to list out things for you.”

“What is wrong with you? Why are you persistent? God, you're so fucking annoying.” Jeno groaned. “And I still say it's a no.”

Jaemin shrugged. “Unless you don't want me to make a dish you have been asking me to make for a week.”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“It's called talking, Jeno. You should consider it. Dr. Kang is a lovely doctor.”

“Then date him.”

“He's too old,” Jaemin said, fighting back a laugh. When Jeno didn't seem to bulge, he gave in. “Okay, listen to me,” he said, taking his hand into his.

“No, I don't fucking want to,” Jeno said, shoving it off. “What would you talk about? Convince me to join that therapy or whatever and then what? People would look at me like… I'm sick or something. I'm not and I'm fine. Why can't you understand?”

Jaemin took his hand into his again and patted it, smiling at him, “It hurts me too…” Jaemin began ignoring what Jeno just said, “I know you're strong and you truly are the strongest person I've ever seen. But it hurts me when you're by yourself scared and anxious over everything… It hurts me to see you suffer through the nightmares and knowing that I just can't do anything, it hurts me even more.

“I know you don't want me to do anything but I think I can tell you that there is an opportunity you can consider instead of running away from your fear. I'm in no position to know how it feels but I know it's scary. And I want to help you as much as I can.”

When Jeno didn't say anything he continued, “Look, I know I'm pushing you too much...but I just want you to try it once. If you don't want it then it's out of the picture. I'm never bringing it up ever again. I promise.”

Jeno broke down into tears when Jaemin was done. Jaemin took him into his arms and just let him let out his emotions. “I fucking hate you and I hope you know it,” Jeno muttered, still in his arms.

“I am taking that as a yes to visit Dr. Kang.”

------------

“Ah yes. Please sit down.” Dr. Kang said. “Make yourself comfortable, Jeno,” he added with a smile.

“Thank you.”

“I had  a conversation with your mom and I'm glad you decided to meet me.”

Jeno gave him a tiny smile, saying, “There was a lot of force,” and added a chuckle.

The conversation quickly escalated to Jiya and Jeno didn't want to be a part of it that minute. He was asked some questions about the past and he answered them trying to be as quick as possible.

“So how do you feel these days?” the Doctor asked.

“I don't know...not bad. But good either.”

“Is there anything that often troubles you?”

“Yeah... nightmares, I guess? It's like being chased by something… it's often darkness but sometimes it's unclear, it concerns me sometimes. But they're normal right? I mean, if you take too much stress.”