His conversation with Imogen was much more intimate the next afternoon. After creating a timeline of the past few weeks and revisiting his dangerous encounters with Sadie and embarrassing fumbles with the police—not to mention the group scolding at the pack house—Theron worried his stupidity would yield the same judgment from Imogen. She only cooed and told him she understood. Maybe he worried so he would be pleasantly proven wrong, since it seemed just like Imogen to never chastise him.
Theron didn't tell her about Liam. He tried to muster the courage to admit his closest friend was fucking with him, but he feared Imogen's sympathy would identify what Theron was feeling: like he was a victim, which he didn't think was right. Liam made advances then treated Theron like one of his flings, but Theron had it coming for being an asshole. Liam said he'd always been jealous of Sadie, but everybody hated Theron for how he treated her. Liam tapped into Theron's tender loneliness to take advantage of him, but all of Theron's past abuse validated Liam handing him over to the hunters. And protesting that would only draw everybody's eyes to the bruises he made on Liam, so what was the point in speaking up for himself when he deserved this?
All through the tour Imogen gave him of the research cabin and clearing—a quiet, secluded spot in the middle of the Canadian taiga—he wondered what it would be like up there. As Imogen recalled her sorrow and regret when Oliver died, Theron was too quickly curious about how she felt about Sadie for murdering him. "I understand the circumstances that drove her to do it," said Imogen, considering she was guilty of breeding those circumstances. "Tell me, could you accept her being taken by the hunters?"
Since he intervened yesterday, he thought the answer was obvious. "No. I can't even accept that she has a new boyfriend."
Imogen hummed. "We have that in common, this chronic inability to let go," she said lightly. "But you know nobody in Winnipeg will rest until they've taken care of the threat of Sadie. I meant it when I told you to find her and bring her here."
"I doubt she'd be into that," sighed Theron.
"What's the alternative?"
Sadie getting caught and given to the hunters. Sadie getting killed by the hunters. Theron getting caught and given to the hunters.
Or Kitra succeeding in redeeming him to his packmates, Theron crawling back begging for forgiveness, Frank's eternal disapproval, Liam's sexual deviancy. Going to therapy, like he promised. But would it be worth never seeing Sadie again? That was the healthiest option, but when his mother idealized escaping the past with Sadie, the healthiest option wasn't the one he wanted.
No... He was fooling himself if he thought kidnapping Sadie and running off with her was a good idea. Sadie wouldn't want that. She'd kill him, or herself, or both of them before Theron ever got that far.
"I don't know," he muttered finally. "You mentioned three of us in the phone call before. What did you mean by that?"
Imogen tilted her head. "Did I? I must have misspoken."
So there was no Kitra coming with them. He didn't want to sequester himself up north with Sadie who hated him and his mom who abandoned him, miles away from the only home he ever knew, but it was the only option that nursed his broken heart right now. Nothing else felt right. He wanted Sadie and he wanted to escape the pack's collective disdain. He wanted to run from everything he had to be accountable for and settle into the comforts of his old ways.
But could he do that to Kitra?
Theron's silence prompted Imogen to speak again. "Theron, I love you and I want you to be happy. If you aren't happy, let me help. I can give you a safe place to live. There's a Dire clan here that I've been studying called Yellowfell. They could give you a new life. Sadie too."
He breathed and looked away. "I have to figure things out here, first."
"Do what you need to do. But I'll always have a place for you," said Imogen.
"I know." And it was tempting. He worried what would happen now that the idea had wormed into his brain and appealed to him.
By the time he finished talking to Imogen, it was evening and Theron was exhausted: physically, mentally, and emotionally. He leaned over the table he'd been hogging all day and just listened to the footsteps and voices of people passing by, trying to silence his thoughts for more than a few seconds. Hunger made his stomach turn. Theron didn't have any cash left; he'd have to hunt. It was exhausting just to think about having to make his way back to the outskirts of the city.
Before he left, he messaged Kitra. Talked to mom again today. She still wants me to find Sadie and bring her up north.
Kitra must have been waiting for him. She replied a few minutes later, As if Sadie would do that, lol. What's she even trying to do?
Who knows. I kinda know how it feels to get cheated out of an apology now.
Did you mention how she totally screwed you up as a child?
No... I thought she'd pick up on it.
Did you ever pick up on it when you did something wrong to somebody?
Idk. I'm starting to now.
Regardless, unspoken expectations just make things worse for both sides. You need to confront her about it directly.
Maybe next time.
When can I talk to her?
We have another call in a few days. I'll ask.
I think I'm just going to email her.
Sure. He didn't care at this point; he didn't think it would change anything.
Are you doing okay? Do you need anything from home? We can meet somewhere.
I don't want to risk anybody catching us.
OK. I miss you. Been thinking about you.
How could he possibly leave Kitra? Theron wilted against the table. Thanks Kit. That means a lot to me.
We'll fix this soon. Stay away from Sadie and just keep laying low.
He wanted to believe that staying in Winnipeg, apologizing, and redeeming himself would be worthwhile. If anybody could make it worthwhile, it was Kitra. Okay. TTYL.
Stay safe.
She was the only thing giving him hope that he could be better now. The only person who must still have even scraps of love for him. Any reason for him to survive this ordeal and recover would be rooted in his desperate dependency on Kitra's love—and under the threat of everything else, he hoped it would be enough.
YOU ARE READING
BLOOD DREAM (Ongoing)
Paranormal24-year-old Theron was the spoiled brat son of a wolf shifter Alpha--until his fated mate, a puma shifter named Sadie, murdered his father. As the consequences of his abusive behavior, Theron lost his friends, girlfriend, and the respect of his pack...
