ambivalent - nate jacobs

.09

the whole time noah and j where there i couldn't stop thinking about nate. i even got stoned with j so that he would get my head but that just made it worse. he literally just kissed me and then left me there, what the fuck. and that's not the first time but this time he sober.

when they left i decided to go into to noah's room, when i walked in he just stared at me.
"we need to talk nate" i demand to him
"look, it was a mistake, if i made you uncomfortable i'm sorry" he said back to me without even looking at me. how dare he
"that is fucking bullshit and we both know it. you maybe could've got away with the mistake shit the first time you did it when you were drunk" i shout at him. he walks up to me and pushes me against his door.
"watch your fucking tone you slut, just because you want it to be something doesn't mean it was." he says with a venom in his right in my face. he put his hands on my cheeks and squeezes them together. "go back to your fucking room" he says to me before opening the door and pushing me out. i can feel the tears streaming down my face.
"fuck you nate" i scream through his door while banging it.

so yeah, that was a great conversation we had. i couldn't stand being in a car with him so i just skipped school on friday again. but i decided that nate wasn't getting the best of me this weekend. because this weekend is the carnival and cal basically forced me to go i decided i would have my own fun there. 

me and j got ready together and wore these cute like matching  top and skirts (pictured above). i'm wearing a like silver holographic one and my hair is up in a curled ponytail.

we get a lift with the jacobs and help them set up the chilli stand. once they set up we went and met rue, lexi and gia. as we were walking i heard nate on the phone, probably with maddy. they've been good the past couple weeks i guess. but he's always on his phone, like all the time even when we're downstairs having dinner.

we went on some rides with lexi and rue befire we met up with jules. as soon as jules came rue was so fucking happy, i honestly think she's in love with her. me and j ended up just going back to the chilli stand and i saw mckay and cassie there.

i budged past nate and gave cassie a huge hug and just said hey to mckay. "so you guys in a relationship"  nate said in a weird tone
"nah we just chillin" mckay said. as soon as he said that i saw cassies expression change and i looked at j and she saw it too. i gave mckay a dirty look before looking at nate and giving him a death stare. cassie walked away and i hear nate go "what the fuck is her problem"
"you two" i said pointed at the two of them "are fucking idiots." i spat at them before trying to walk away with j. 

as soon as i tried to walk away nate grabbed my arm and brought his lips down to my ears "will you stop being a fucking bitch just for the chilli cook off, i'm already dealing with maddy. i don't need to deal with you too" he whispered in my ear and i felt shivers go down my back. i just nodded and kept waking, i knew i'd be back before they announced the winner anyway.