ambivalent - nate jacobs

.03

i was in a state of shock and ended up staying in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, overthinking for around half an hour. i check my phone and the time is around 11pm. still enough time for more drugs is the only thought in my head.

i go downstairs and the first person i see is nate, we make eye contact but i just ignore him and keep walking. i go out back and get some molly from fez. i take it and go back into the kitchen, filling another cup with vodka.

about half an hour passes, i've been in the living room dancing and looking for j, i see her dancing with a random guy that i think is on the football team. as i'm dancing i feel hands on my waist. i can tell from the scent that it is noah. me and noah and friends because i'm his sisters best friend but we are really flirty. some people even think we're in a relationship but i would never do that to j. i love noah but as a friend.

as i open my eyes i can feel eyes on me, i turn around and put my arms around noahs neck and he has his on my waist. while i'm turning around i see nate making out with this girl but staring at me. he is making me so confused and he's all i can think about.

i feel a hand grip my arm "we're going home, come on" i hear nate say " i can go home later" i say to nate "now soph" i can tell from his tone he's angry. " i ordered an uber and if you don't come home my parents will kill me" he says.
"i'll make my own way home, fuck off" i scream at him. as i'm finishing my sentence i go back to dance with noah and can feel hand on my waist pulling me back. by the time i realised what was happening i was already outside, on mckay lawn, in nates arms.

the uber came after a minute or two but i still didn't speak to nate. he was pissed but he could see i was cold so cuddled up with me. by the time we were home i was sleeping, he just dropped me in his bed and got in beside me.

i woke up, still drunk at 4am. i thought i was in my room so i stripped. all of a sudden i fall off the bed and see a figure coming up to me. that's when i realised, i was now on nates floor, drunk and in my underwear. he stared at me before biting his lips and then we started to laugh.

he gave me a hoodie and grabbed me up once i put it on. he placed me in his bed and in between his arms. i shut my eyes and he thought i was sleeping "i love you" i heard him whisper before falling asleep.