Lost in Time (Loki)

22 | The Confession

I stared up at him, waiting for him to speak. Despite the fact that he had just thrown a man to his death—Luckily Tony had his suit—I was completely mesmerised and I could not take my eyes off his own.

He stared down at me, silently, his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly. I did not speak, though. Clearly whatever he was internally willing himself to say was important. I did not want to interrupt his mental battle.

He took a deep breath, the hot air fanning my face due to our closeness. I held my breath, waiting for him to speak, to do anything. The silence was killing me, and it was taking everything in me, not to shrug him away, and run to help the others.

"Abi," Loki began, my name slipping off of his tongue with a silky smoothness. "Just listen to me." His grip on my shoulders tightened. "Please."

I nodded slightly, but it was enough for him. He continued to stare down at me, the silence only a fraction of the length of the previous one.

His fingertips were digging painfully into my shoulders, but I did my best to ignore the sensation. He needed this, for whatever reason. Somehow, this support was helping him.

"Okay," Loki breathed quietly, averting his gaze from mine for a heartbeat. "If you don't believe me, there's nothing else I can do," he breathed, staring at me with a new intensity. "I need you to believe me."

I nodded my head slowly. I would not just believe him because he told me to, but I would listen and judge him fairly. "Okay," I responded. "Just tell me."

He nodded, lowering his tight grip on my shoulders, to my upper arms. "I know I've done—am doing–bad things," he admitted quietly. "I know all of this came about from my need for recognition." He tilted his head towards me. "You told me that."

I nodded urging him to continue.

"But this is different," he said dully. "This is not me—well it is me—but I'm not in charge." I raised my eyebrows in confusion. "I'm not the man behind the curtain."

I squinted my eyes in confusion, unsure of how to respond, but then my eyes widened in remembrance. He'll kill me. I remembered what Loki had told me about his mission, and my tensed muscles immediately relaxed.

I took a deep breathin, aware that what I was about to do was treason—to the Midgardians and to the Allfather—but I had made up my mind. This man before me was broken, betrayed, and I knew his actions were misguided and his beliefs misplaced, but I could not help but feel an urge to help him. Not to assist him on his mission, but to help him overcome his pain.

He had not removed his grip on my biceps, and was still staring into my wide eyes with his own, desperate ones. I sighed, nodding. "I believe you."

His demeanor changed immediately. His grip loosened and his back slouched slightly. He let out a huge sigh of relief, glancing momentarily at the city, beyond the windows. "The Chitauri will be here soon," he informed, pointing up at the sky. "Selvig is opening a portal with the Tesseract."

I nodded in understanding. "What are you doing?"" I questioned, confused.

He turned back to me, staring at me with an unreadable emotion on his face. He slid his hands back up my arms, letting them rest just below my neck. I reached up and placed a hand onto his wrist, that was right above my shoulder. He tensed slightly, but relaxed almost instantly.

He smiled ever so slightly. "I'm letting you help me."

***

I followed Loki out onto the balcony, where the chaotic city was clearly visible. A large portal had opened up in the sky, and thousands of horrifying creatures were pouring out of it, flying into buildings and terrorising the streets below.