SMUCK

Ok, since you asked I'm going to talk about jellyfish. Not the run-of-the-mill stingers you encounter at the beach, but a species recently discovered in the salty vastness of the Pacific Ocean. You remember Marty right, the marine biologist? He was telling me that in cases of diseases like cancer, this jellyfish is capable of shedding its entire being down to a single, error free cell and, after a suitable period of freewheeling about, rebuilding itself into a complete form in what is potentially an endless cycle of destruction and renewal.

This means there could very well be jellyfish that have been floating about in the briny expanses of mother ocean since long before the rise of human culture – back when our ancestors were swinging around in trees or being deposited by advanced alien civilisations or whichever scenario floats your ontological boat. And yes, that is a very relevant point you raise, one cannot but wonder what kind of insight this endless rebirth must engender in the jellyfish; what perspective can be garnered by an almost total absence of the garden variety mortality the rest of us are forced to endure?

There's only one way to find out: an expedition. And you're coming with me! But since we have a very meagre travel budget and limited time resources – not to mention my wife will (probably) notice I've gone missing – we are going to use advanced esoteric meditative techniques to project our consciousnesses into the Ethereal World and go astral travelling. So, light a candle and let's begin... No, not that candle, that's a citronella candle. Hardly appropriate for this kind of high-level spiritual work... What? Well, yes I suppose it will keep the mosquitoes at bay and this could take a while. First, you want to pick a comfy spot and stare at the lit candle; once you have firmly grasped the image close your eyes and visualise the flame in your mind's eye. Next, just sit there and concentrate. Recreate the image on the inner screen of your consciousness until your body becomes the tallow, your mind like the flame, and your spirit is able to rise through the smoke. This may take you a tad longer than me as I've been practicing for years under the austere tutelage of an esoteric adept who lives an otherwise entirely solitary existence in an isolated mountain cave subsisting on a diet of seasonal berries, spring water and roasted pinecones. What's that, you're ready already?! Good, it took me much, much longer the first time. Undoubtedly this is due to the outstanding quality of my guidance more so than any natural propensity on your part...

Let's be on our way then, shall we. What's that? No, no, you don't need to worry about your unoccupied body while we're gone: the likelihood of some marauding psychic parasite happening across your untended corporeal vessel and taking it over is exceedingly low. People almost never awaken to find their entire family ritualistically disembowelled in their absence. Hardly ever happens...

Ok, first stop is the Luna Temple, a fourth dimensional construction on the dark side of the moon. Just a hop, skip and a jump from our current location in astral terms, but a very important place none the less. It's a staging ground where we offer our thanks to the Universal Consciousness, pray for a safe return to our bodies and begin our quest to find the Immortal Jellyfish Spirit. Travel is instantaneous in the astral realm, simply visualise your destination, will yourself there and here we are...