ため野矢の: Because of Noya

笑顔 Smile

"I've just been thinking about it."

Is that okay? I think it gets my point across just fine. But it's pretty vague, she isn't going to settle for that.

"Really? Give me something particular! His face? His laugh? You liking him? They way he might be in b-"

"LIKING HIM."

I finished as quickly as possible with a hot red color spreading all over my face. The last comment was probably wildly inappropriate, so I NEVER wanted her finishing something like that. You really seem like Yū-kun #2 as well, Amari-san.
But, that text was impulsive and I was going to get TOTALLY bombarded for this..

"EH?! I KNEW IT!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER, KAMEKO-CHAN!! WAIT, ITS NOT APRIL 1ST RIGHT? OF COURSE NOT! KYAHHH! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))"

I could personally feel Amari-san's radiance and excitement jumping out of the screen and smothering me. It didn't feel the ever growing battle of bad or good choice in my mind, as I slightly shook with anxiety over talking about girl problems.. With a friend? I was so nervous it was pathetic just to look at me this way.

"Sugawara-senpai brought it up, so I decided I should choose. I'm having trouble though :/."

I poured a bit of my feelings into this one to see if Amari-san actually wanted to immerse herself into this mess.

"I'm guessing it's how he feels about you? And Kiyoko-san doesn't help, right?"

Spot on.

"Yes. It troubles me. I just really want to get rid of this feeling."

"YOU CAN'T!"

Her words shouted and me and stung a bit in my chest.

"This is what comes with love, Kameko-chan! You have to tackle this in order to know how you truly feel! If not, it just as good as going back to square 1."

I frowned. I didn't know how to feel, after all. For such a dull girl in the classroom, Amari-san was such a wise advice giver. Either that, or I'm just dense and easy. Or, I truly don't understand what I have to do still to find out how I really want to feel.

"I can't compete with Kiyoko-san. You know that. And he treats me like he does anyone else, so that factor is ruled out as well."

"If you tell yourself that, than it'll only be true and stuck in your head. Step up, Kameko-chan! (￣^￣)ゞ!"

Stuck in my head, Huh? Wouldn't I be running from the truth? Or is that in my imagination as well? God, is this confusing. Faith can only save me now, then?

"I'm still unsure if I'm in 'love' yet."

"Than you're going to need a push, of course! You can't decide out of the blue!"

I smiled. Well, it was true.

"I'm proud of you for taking the steps! Don't loose faith, Kameko-chan! You're stronger than you look! （＾ω＾)"

Is it now that I just realized how lucky I was to be with Amari-san, and have her as a close friend? The person who I could actually share anything with? That I feel is a replica of me on the other screen, like a more couraged and hopeful me? This is what I truly love, but is it bad to want something else like that?

"Thank you, Amari-san. For everything ^ - ^."

A little emoticon was definitely not enough to show the happiness and relief welled up within me, but hopefully she'll sense even a little bit.