Deanna • Duff McKagan

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Levi & Juliette

October 5th, 1985

"Hey, baby boy..." I sigh, placing a hand on the shiny black stone memorializing my son. I was fourteen when I got pregnant, with Dylan's baby. Before our parents were married, Dylan and I were a couple.

We dated on and off from when we were twelve, until I was sixteen. That's when the worst thing that ever happened to me happened. Dylan has never been a good guy, and that didn't extend to his child.

My son, Levi Jackson Electra was born on a Sunday. April 15th, to be exact. He wasn't ready to come out, but Dylan was mad at me because I went to the Whiskey to check out a new band that Haley told me about. I always wanted to be a band manager, I always wanted to make things happen. Maybe even create my own record label.

Dylan thought I was cheating on him; he punched me in the stomach, before pushing me down a flight of stairs. Six hours later, I gave birth to my baby boy.

Two weeks after I lost him, my dad and Dylan's mom miraculously decided that they were in love and needed to get married. I guarantee you that that was a chess move my father used to break me even more.

The footsteps behind me cause me to turn my head, viewing the tall, lanky blonde before me. "The Stone is ready for us, they just called the hotel..." Duff trails off, beads of sweat forming on his leather clad body.

Currently, we're in San Francisco, almost seven hours from LA. This is where I led my boy to rest, and this is where I keep his identity a secret from Dylan and my entire family. Knowing Dylan, he'd deface my son's grave because he 'wasn't Dylan's kid' even though he absolutely was, one hundred percent.

I got the call that The Stone in San Francisco needed an opener for JetBoy tonight at midnight last night. After that, the band and I crammed into a borrowed car and made the trip up here. The way I see it, a seven hour trip only means more exposure for the band, and space from reality for me.

"Okay," I sigh, standing up from where I was in the grass. My jeans now have specs of dirt and green stains on them, but I'm sure the band can overlook this tiny fact for obvious reasons. "I'm ready."

"Is this your boy?" Duff asks, kneeling down in front of the headstone. His fingers trace over the epitaph before he glances back at me, his eyes meeting mine.

"Yes, this is Levi," I give him a small smile, glancing over at the main road with cars whizzing past. "He lived for two hours after he was born, and those were the best two hours of my life."

"I, uh, had a daughter," Duff shoots me a small smile, but doesn't meet my gaze. His eyes seem to trace the inscription on my baby's headstone, a small tear falling down his cheek. But just as soon as I see it, he wipes it away. "I got my high school girlfriend pregnant, she got in a car accident when she was about seven months. Lost the kid."

"It's a horrible pain, isn't it?" I sigh, digging my shoe into the dirt. "Not being able to know who your baby would've become.. what their favorite color would've been, their favorite song."

"Yeah," Duff nods, sighing. "It's pretty shitty.. I wonder who Juliette would've been today if she was around. I would've done anything for her."

"So you know how Dylan is, and you know that it's his fault... what happened to Juliette's mother?" The yellow and pink sky shines above us, almost making me wonder if Levi and Juliette are looking down on us.

"Last I heard," Duff sighs, a frown painted on his face. "She's in New York City, snorting and stripping."

"Losing Levi is how I ended up on drugs," I shrug, making my way back to the main path. Duff follows closely behind me, both of us knowing we don't have much time before the show starts. "I fell into a hole, it seemed almost impossible to drag myself out of."

"But here you are, managing the next big thing to come out of the streets of LA," Duff shoots me a smile, which I return.

"And making y'all the next big thing is at the top of my list," maybe talking about the loss of my son was exactly what I needed to step up in my life.

A/N: hey guys. I'm sorry it's been so long, and I'm sorry this chapter is so short. Last year, I moved from NY to FL with my boyfriend, but recently when I got home from visiting family he had packed everything up and moved out while I was gone. So my lease is up on September 10th, my three year relationship just ended, and I have nowhere to go. Please just bare with me for awhile, I appreciate all of your support 💜