Deanna • Duff McKagan

Chapter Eighteen • Bad Sex & An Intervention

July 25th, 1985

"Fuck," Nikki groans as I drop onto the bed next to him, moving my head over to glance at the numbers on the clock across the room. Around two in the morning, therefore time for me to leave. "Where ya going?" Nikki asks as I stand up from the cheap motel room bed.

"Home," I scoff, gathering my clothes off the shag carpet and beginning to pull them on. Regret immediately consumes me, flashing me back to '83 when Nikki and I were 'in love'. Now that its over, it's dawned on me that Nikki's house is not even five minutes down the road. So, why are we at a hotel? Simple answer; fucker already has a girl at his house.

"Why? I paid for the whole fucking night!" He grumbles, sitting up in the bed. His hair is messy, his body coated with sweat. "Should've fucking known this would've been a waste of time." I roll my eyes, pulling on my Converse before unlocking the deadbolt.

"Yeah, you're right, Nikki," I say, pausing at the door and turning around. "It was a waste of time, learn where the fucking clitoris is." With that, I swing open the door to the hotel room, slamming it shut behind me.

The Los Angeles air is stiff, a light drizzle of rain falling over me as I walk along the city streets. I wish I knew what was happening to me, why I fell back into a drug abyss instead of taking how good my life is going into consideration. Those boys, Axl, Izzy, Duff, Steven, and Slash, have such a raw talent that's rare coming from the Sunset Strip. These boys have a real shot, and I definitely think they should take it.

"Deanna! What the fuck are you doing out here?" Haley yells, running down the sidewalk. "I ran into some jerk wearing a Motley shirt, he wouldn't tell me where you went until I showed him my tits." I shake my head, knowing full well that the teenage boy that quite literally dropped to his knees and kissed Nikki's shoe would definitely pull a stunt like that.

"I just fucked Nikki," I shrug, knowing that the revelation would put me through so much scolding from Haley. Haley was there ever step of the way through my relationship with Nikki, so much so that she legitimately had to come pick me up from his apartment when knives were flying because Nikki was fucking with some shit he shouldn't have been.

"Jesus Christ," she responds, pinching the bridge of her nose. "The guys are at the apartment, also freaking out about your location. You're strung the fuck out, Dee," she sighs, shaking her head. "Don't fuck up this gig you have as their manager."

"You all need to calm the fuck down," I roll my eyes, absentmindedly scratching my arm. I knew that was a mistake as soon as Haley gripped my wrist harshly, yanking me in her direction.

"Are you shooting up?" She exclaims, drawing the attention of various Los Angeles streetwalkers, as well as a few patrons. She squints her eyes, examining my arms the best she could under the dim streetlights.

I yank my arm from her grasp, taking a step back. "No, I'm not fucking shooting up," I mutter, glaring at her. "And I'm not a fucking addict, I can stop whenever I want."

"Then stop," the voice causes my heart to stop, as I wasn't expecting him to be here. There he stood, his tall, lanky frame shadowing Haley, his blonde hair teased to Hell.

"I said whenever I want," I respond, moving my glance to the bass player. "And I don't want to."

"Spoken like a true addict," Duff's words hit hard, his face stern. I believe this is the first time I've seen Duff without a smile on his face.

"You both need to fuck off," I roll my eyes, leaning against a lamp post and pulling a cigarette out of the box. I strike a match, inhaling deeply while Duff and Haley stare at my every action. "Why are you even here, Duff?"

"Haley came out to find you," he explains, keeping his gaze locked on me. "And when she disappeared for too long, I volunteered to look for you both."

I scoff, throwing the half smoked cigarette onto the pavement. "Well, I just had really bad sex and I'm not in the mood for an intervention. I'm ready to go home." I turn on my heel, heading in the direction of Haley and I's apartment, doing my best to ignore the hurt look on Duff's face. Fuck this day.