What is Left Unrequited

Epilogue: Her Letter

Dear Lexi,

I'm sorry this letter looks so sloppy. I didn't pay enough attention to Mr Petersen's lesson on how to draft a [friendly] letter. I know you'll hate reading this because of the obvious mistakes I know you pay attention to. I really don't know if this is supposed to has two addresses, or one? or whether I can still call you, my friend. I hope after you read this letter, I can.

Mom (your mom?) and I (mostly your mom) set up this campsite in your backyard. Of course, you already know that because your bedroom window looks out into the backyard, and a little while back I thought I was what looked like your shadow standing on the other side of your curtains. I'm sorry I'm babbling so much already-I'm such a sinking ship.

Our moms [Celia and Olwethu'] thought it would be a good idea if I brought two sleeping bags because they were certain that we'd work through "whatever we were fighting over this time." They almost sounded like they were accusing us of fighting a lot, which I think is totally untrue. I don't know if I agree with her this time though because this isn't one of our usual disagreements. I know that I really hurt you.

I just saw your bedroom lights go off so it's safe to conclude that you won't be coming down, which is totally fine. I just don't think sorry is enough this time, which is why I'm writing you this letter, camped in your backyard in the cold. I'll make sure I'm gone by the time you wake up.

The longest I've ever gone without talking to you was the 8 years, 11 months, and 2 days before we became friends sisters and it was the hardest time of my life. I'm being selfish right now because all I can think about is how much it breaks my heart that I will have to sit through Ms. Mudau's E.M.S class without laughing at your comments about how she dresses in the dark, and after a long day, I will have to walk home alone after school. I don't want to make another friend because that would probably mean I would have to explain to her why I have two moms. In the near 6 years we've been sisters, you never once asked me that question.

All of this is the easy part really. The hard part will be living with the fact that I've lost my sister, all because I couldn't accept her as she is. You may never forgive me, and I'd totally understand if you didn't. Our mom (Celia) always says a good place to start rebuilding a relationship is with an apology. I'm so sorry Galaxia for not being your sister when you needed me to be the most. I'm sorry it took me 17 days to reach out to you. Most of all, I'm sorry I put you in a position where you had no other choice but to end our friendship because I made you feel like were alone when in truth you are never alone. I may not be your friend again afterwards, but I will always be yours, if you are willing to let me be. You are everything to me.

I love you, Lexi, just the way you are, and I wouldn't change a thing about you.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me because nothing in this world matters to me more than you and our family, as complicated as it may be. Our differences make us who are, and I should know that better than most. You showed me that.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Love,

Amanzi